Loving & Believing In Yourself with Alyssa Snider from Big Brother 24 & The Challenge USA
Episode 009
0:06 - Master Your Mindset
8:06 - Processing Big Brother Emotions and Guilt
17:50 - Overcoming Challenges and Finding Inner Strength
24:48 - Growth Through Discomfort and Self-Belief
30:29 - Self-Love and Staying Positive
36:39 - Finding Identity and Overcoming Judgement
43:16 - Navigating Anxiety and Emotional Growth
53:15 - Manifestation and Self-Respect Journey
1:00:37 - What’s In Store for Alyssa
1:04:58 - Rewards for Subscribing and Reviewing Podcast
Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey that explores the heart of reality TV star & Pilates Instructor, Alyssa Snider? In this engaging episode, Alyssa delves into her emotional voyage during her time on Big Brother and The Challenge, revealing the role positive self-talk (with some help from hypnosis!) had in her preparation and ongoing resilience.
Alyssa candidly discusses how she navigated through discomfort and self-doubt, cultivating self-belief along the way. This journey goes beyond the realm of reality TV, underscoring the importance of self-love, celebrating small victories, and treating oneself with the love and respect given to a cherished friend.
As the conversation deepens, Alyssa shares her encounters with anxiety and the process of emotional evolution. The lessons she imparts on respecting oneself, creating a vision for the future, and listening to one's body are invaluable. Alyssa's inspiring story demonstrates the power of a positive mindset and her infectious energy might be the motivation you need to take that first step towards manifesting your dreams.
What sets this episode apart is the depth and authenticity of the conversation. Alyssa's experiences on Big Brother and The Challenge serve as a platform to discuss more profound topics, such as self-care, positive body image, strength, emotionality, and identity development. Alyssa's transformation from a place of insecurity during middle/high school years, to a confident and resilient woman is a testament to the power of positive thinking and self-love.
Alyssa's journey of self-discovery and self-love is truly inspiring. Her ability to transform challenges into opportunities for growth is a valuable lesson for everyone. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, struggling with self-doubt, or simply looking for inspiration, Alyssa's story offers valuable insights and practical advice.
Alyssa's story serves as a refreshing and inspiring reminder that it's not just about fame or popularity. It's about personal growth, self-love, and resilience. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking motivation, positivity, and a fresh perspective on life.
Tune in to this enlightening episode and let Alyssa Snider’s inspiring journey be your guide towards personal growth and self-respect. Remember, the power of a positive mindset can take you places, and perhaps, just like Alyssa, it might be the push you need to get a step closer to ‘Destination Manifestation’!
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Transcription
I'd like you to imagine your dream life, see the version of you who has what you want to have, feels how you want to feel and is who you want to be. I'm Brittany Hoops, your hypnotherapist and manifestation coach, and this is the show where I'll teach you to master the full power of your mind to guide you on your journey towards destination manifestation. Hello, and welcome back y'all. That came out very southern. Anyways, I hope you're doing well today. I will see.
If you're watching the actual video episode, you can tell I got my hair cut. I am not a fan, you guys. I have not had a bad haircut in a really long time. There's just a certain rite of passage that goes with having a bad haircut right and literally as I was sitting in the chair, I could tell from the first couple moments that I'm like oh, I think that snipped too much or that did not snip in the area that the picture showed, or all these things. And I just was literally like I was closing my eyes and I was just visualizing. I was like, maybe I'm wrong, maybe this is the best haircut ever. See, that's the thing you have to believe in your manifestations for them to manifest. And I did not believe after those couple moments that this could be good. I like the color of it. You can't really tell in the video If you're watching video that it's a little bit lighter. It's supposed to lighten up over time. But oh, my bangs, they're killing me. But you know what Bangs grow out? Hair grows, it's okay, we're rolling with it. Oh yeah, anyways, that's just what's on my mind lately. But enough about that. This is not a hair show.
So if you're already subscribed to the podcast, I just want to thank you. You are absolutely spectacular. I appreciate your support. And if you're here for the first time, this is episode number 12. So today we're going to be talking to another one of my fabulous manifesty besties, alyssa Snyder. So you might know her from several shows you've watched this year, including Big Brother 24, the show that I was on, as well as the Challenge USA Season 2. So she has had, I will say, a whirlwind of a year. She's competed in two reality shows within the span of like six, seven, eight months Like absolutely crazy, and I'm so glad that we get to talk to her about that.
But, more importantly, we talk about her mindset and we get in deep. I mean, this conversation is deep. I'm pretty sure we both cry at some point. This is just a soul sister chat unlike any other, and I'm so excited to share it with you guys. We get into self-care relationships, self-love, positive body image, strength, emotionality, developing your identity and like so much more. It's just like rapid fire mindset goodness here, and I'm just so glad that she shared this with you.
So even if you haven't watched Big Brother or you haven't watched the challenge, there's so much that you can take away from this episode. Frankly, what we're mostly talking about is mindset and the lessons that came out of these experiences, but not about the actual shows themselves. So if you've been feeling anxious or down or wanting to make a change, maybe you're going through a big life event, like a big breakup. Alyssa has been through the trenches and she's gotten out on the other side, and I was so thankful that she was willing to share with us how she got there. We also discussed the behind the scenes of how I gave her a one-on-one hypnotherapy session during Big Brother we share a little bit about that and also how she used hypnosis to again prep for the challenge, which I also played a role there too. I gotta plug it right. Hypnosis has been really helpful, but really it comes down to just changing your thoughts, and that's what's been most helpful of all.
So if you want an example of someone who's on the cusp of manifesting their next big chapter in their life, as a manifestation coach and teacher, I can tell you, when somebody is very, very, very, very close and Alyssa is in that energy and you just feel that energy and I want you to tap into that energy that she's in, because this is what it looks like as you gain positive momentum right before the big manifestation. Because the way that Alyssa talks about her future goals and the work that she's been doing on her positive self-talk, she is so aligned and you just can't help but feel it. I literally found myself smiling as I was editing this episode because it's so infectious. I know you all will feel it too, so let's jump on it. Yeah, take a step back when the ones who Alyssa hello welcome, Hello Brittany, Thank you for having me.
Good to see your face. Saw it all summer Last summer at least. Good to see you too.
I've missed you so much. I can't believe it's literally been a year since we were in the Big Brother house together.
Does it not? I mean, I was about to say this. I literally have full body goosebumps when you say that, because it's like how I don't time has, just like I don't even understand it.
Literally. I was just thinking about this and like, actually crazy enough, I am actually just watching our season for the first time.
Are you looking at?
What, how long? I decided this two days ago. I'm on episode 13 out of 33 and it has been a roller coaster of emotions. For the most part, I'm okay and I feel like an order for me to really move on and like be present in my life and be able to focus on future goals and all that stuff I need to put Big Brother to rest. So the only way to get to the end is to go through it. So I'm like the only way to the end is through.
Oh my gosh, I couldn't agree with you more. I am very much on that similar journey. It'd be interesting to watch it now. I think you did something good with that, because I watched it when we first got home, because I was just like I need to know, I need to know what the people know, and I was not like I don't want to say healed, but you know what I mean. It was still all very fresh and very like unintegrated of an as an experience and so, but I haven't touched it since I deleted my pair of mouth.
I get that really 100% and like I figured that I was like finally in a place where, like, I have made peace with a lot of things and I think that the best thing to come out of Big Brother 100% were the relationships that I made and the worst thing to come out of Big Brother were the relationships that I made. Like it's like I love these people and now some of these people I don't have in my life and I'm like I loved, I loved everybody so deeply and it sounds so like we all fought in that house or whatever, but truly like in that experience and as a once in a lifetime thing. So watching it back, it feels like I'm truly watching it for the first time, because you block so much out of your memory. I forgot this happened. I forgot that happened. I'm like, oh my God, that's me talking and I don't remember saying that.
Yeah, no, and I could not agree with you more too. Like it's I've had to like over the past year, right, I've had to sort of like wrap my head around like the expectation I had of like what my relationships might look like outside the house and then what the reality of them are, which in some respects, is like amazing, like the fact like us, like we're great friends, like how cool is that to be able to have something like that. I think there's been other things where I'm like oh wow, this wasn't exactly what I expected, or this or that, and just like getting used to that. But, alyssa, for you you have had a crazy year Big Brother and the challenge. So I just kind of want to since you're watching Big Brother right now, I want to like talk a little bit about that, but then, of course, I want to hear about the challenge as well, of course. If you could sum up your Big Brother experience into one word, what would it be?
Draining, draining. As loving and as much as I could be, I would say draining. And I don't realize it. I think so, like I am an emotional person, as everybody it seems to know. If you don't know that about me, I am, I've always been this person.
I mean Brandy had that in common in the Big Brother house not to like made us such special friends as being these emotional people. So I gave and I gave and I gave, and I felt like in the Big Brother house since it's all about lying nobody believed who I really was and I felt like I was consistently trying to prove myself that I was somebody worth loving, I was somebody worth keeping around and I was all this stuff. So when I got out of the show, I was in a relationship with somebody from the show and that was such a good shield from everything else. I didn't have to think about the show, I just cared about this relationship. I felt like I won Big Brother, leaving in a relationship, and then when that ended, I was like forced to like face all of these emotions that I had like subsided in the house, and so I processed all of those emotions. I went on a completely another TV show and now I'm watching Big Brother again. So it's a lot.
So, alyssa, what was that process like though? Because I mean, of course, like I was there for you as a friend throughout that and I feel like I have snippets, but like for somebody who's going through something that's so major like that, that needs to process so much, any tips, like any advice, like what did you do to process it all?
I would say that physically being in the Big Brother house like you have to find someone and that's why, in real life, I turned to friends, I turned to family. I've always been a very prideful person. So I don't like to ask for help. I don't like to do that.
I don't pick that up about you.
I don't want to ask for help. I'm fine, I am the helper.
Okay, direfest, alyssa, like when we got back from Direfest and you're like yeah, here's where we slept, and I was just like I'm like looking at you and you're like fine, and I'm like how is she? Okay, so I can understand the not asking for help. You're strong, you're talking.
I was not fine and I'm like I was so broken coming back specifically after Direfest, hearing about like the leftovers and everything.
But I put on this face that I have to be okay because I know other people aren't going to be okay and I would rather them be okay than myself and that is my biggest downfall and like my biggest like strength and so many different ways of my life. So I think I just have to go through it and lean on someone. I feel like, honestly, I confided a lot in you when I was hurting and struggling and like as a friend level, you showed up for me so much and I knew that you were someone I could talk to to put the game aside, and I knew I felt like I had that with Kyle as well, like he was somebody that I loved and cared about, no matter what actually happened in the game. It's like I was able to safely put my emotions somewhere where I needed to put them and it lightened the load. So I would say like it gets heavier the longer you carry it. So if you can find someone you trust, then take it off your shoulders.
Ooh, it gets heavier the longer you carry it. That's that's that makes so much sense and I completely agree. I mean, how interesting it is and I know you've given yourself credit for this, but I just need to tout it as well. Like you were the last remaining left, non leftover, like that, and can we like admit like nearly half the leftovers got evicted before you. So, like you know, like I guess that is a point to say like you were doing, you were doing something right in this experience and connecting, and I think that's really just I agree with you. Like I feel like we connected on a level that it was like okay, we weren't really playing on the same side, like as humans, like I really connected with your empathy and emotionality and could really relate to that, because I'm curious how you feel about this with, like reality TV in general. But I feel like when you're an emotional woman, it's like you're either in the like emotional basket case, like box, or you have to be like this strong, like logical, strategically. You can't be both.
And that just irks me so bad of like the tropes I guess that exist or there's like one slot of like a legendary player that's a woman that can be both. You know, it doesn't feel like it's something that's afforded to many people who play reality TV and I'm just curious your experience like that, like people diminishing your strength because of your emotions, when both can exist at the same time 100%.
And watching it back to is something I realized, like I went in and like I made alliances, like I was trying my best, like we were at the girls' girls, we had post-doc, we had whatever, but I was really in there trying to play my game, and also like making people like me enough to oversee me another week, oversee me another week. Given, big Brother is all about chance and it's all about luck. So the luck of the draw, daniel, used that veto on me. I just watched it. I'm like, oh my gosh, I just got lucky and it's like, oh near, I had lost at age of eight.
To turn her by seconds and a lot of stuff is just by luck and you can't control that. But what you can control is how you treat people and how you show up in the game. And I felt like, like who and I said it in my intro is like I just want to go in and make friends and that's what I did and that's what got me to where I was. And something else I want to talk about was guilt and I feel like that's something that I carried a lot coming out of Big Brother. I felt like Amira leaving the show.
I felt like that entire thing was my fault and I've been dealing with it every day and I've been thinking about it every day and I'm like how could I do this to her? I've ruined her dream, I did all of that stuff. But something I've come to realize is you cannot control other people's actions. You are not in control of anyone else but yourself, and I really was just showing up in the best way that I knew how, as a 24 year old girl, in this insane experience and that was the outcome. So like you really can't control other people, and that's something I've struggled with my whole life is like if something was to go wrong, how could I have done better? How could I have fixed it? But it's not on me.
Yeah, it is not. And I would say specifically too, with Big Brother, is that so much? And it was so funny because I would see this in the leftovers. That was like, oh, we're gonna blame why we're doing this on this reason, but we're really just doing it because we wanted to do it. And so it was always this like I mean, it's a really awful way to be in like normal life, of course, playing a game, it is like it is what it is. But then it was funny because when it was turned on me, like given a reason why I was going, I was like I know what you're doing. Like I know what you're doing. We use these tactics on other people. Now you're using them on me. Like you're not gonna pull the wool over on my eyes. So I guess that's like a long way of saying like maybe people blamed you, but like did they really blame you? Like that's just an easy excuse to say.
Yeah, and I think it's an internal battle as well. I am a natural born people pleaser and all my people pleasers out there know that it is a curse, and it is a curse that has followed me for life. I don't know how to say no, I don't know how to disappoint people. I don't know how to do this and I try to be this perfect person for everyone in the house, which is like I was trying to be a good friend to Jasmine and Indy and like that side of the house. But then I was like I loved you, I loved Michael, I loved Kyle and I loved everybody on that side of the house. And so I'm trying to make everybody happy and in the process, like sanding myself down to where it just got so emotionally exhausting that by the time the show ended I was completely drained and I didn't realize how drained I was, and then I tried to fill back up my cup and then I went on another TV show. So I'm doing it to myself here.
Let's talk about that, because that was actually a question that came through. Like how did you keep your mental health like in check going into a second show so soon after Big Brother? Like I literally like when you told me you were going to the challenge, I was like we just got home, like I'm still unpacking, like what is going on? Like it felt that soon, like how did you?
handle that mentally, absolutely. So when they first asked me about the challenge, my initial thought was no, I'm not going, absolutely not, as anybody seen the challenge. You people are jumping off semi trucks and swimming into an ocean. I don't want to do that, so absolutely not.
And then I found out that they had approached like Monty and Amira, and I was like, okay, I know people and Amira is somebody I hold very close to my heart. So I was like, all right, maybe I could do this. And she was really convincing me to do it. She's like let's just try it. And I was like, okay, like maybe I can try it. And at that point I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and I was like you know what? I'm going to go into this and I'm going to try this for me. Let's give it another go around in a game where it's not straight up emotional manipulation. Maybe people will truly see me for me and maybe I can do something like out here for myself.
So it took a lot of just like it's when I started getting into Pilates, when I started really focusing on my fitness, my health, and like, again, self-care. I have my self-care club here. It's so important to know that self-care is not just a face mask and a candle. Self-care for me was getting up every single morning and taking a shower, which sounds so simple, but the amount that it took me to take a shower some days was so much. Take a shower, workout, set goals for myself, manifest this new life for myself that I wanted. I felt like this was an opportunity to be reborn and prove my strength, and no matter if I'm called a weaker girl on the challenge, I am a girl who went out there and tried her absolute best, and that's something that I've taken out of this. But it took a lot of just like journaling and reading and mentally preparing myself to enter a new experience.
Oh for sure and like so okay, so you do all those like actual self-care things. Is there anything else you did to like prepare, like keep yourself, like get yourself in the I don't know mindset I mean it's literally called the challenge Like it is a very challenging thing Like, is there anything that you else that you did to prepare?
So my motto is wing it. I'm a wing it kind of girl. I didn't even watch the challenge. I knew that they did crazy stuff, but I've never seen the challenge. I watched parts of season one and I was like, okay, this looks insane, I don't want to watch it anymore, I'm going to psych myself out. And then you also sent me a hypnosis, which was so incredibly helpful when I tell you that I listened to it twice a day for two weeks preparing up to the challenge, closed my eyes, really centered myself in my body, and I remember in your hypnosis you were telling me like I will win the challenge, I am strong, Like my emotions are my fuel in this game. And I realized that. And you'll watch the challenge and you'll see me crying and breaking down, but at the end of the day, I was like my emotions are my fuel and I remember your words and when you believe in yourself, you're the only person who can really believe in you. At the end of the day, that truly matters.
Yeah, you know that's so funny. I actually forgot about that. Well, because here's the thing like you couldn't tell me exactly, but I'm like my friend is going on an adventure so close to this. You know that I was like okay, like, because here's the thing, I knew you had the physical part down pat because you're a Pilates girl. Like you were strong.
I saw you lift weights in the big brother house, like you're killing it. I knew you had that. I knew you had the social game. Because I'm like okay, again, here's this girl who made it all the way to fifth and big brother against a majority of lions and, you know, made it so far. So I was like okay, I know how hard it is coming out of the house and this experience and everything like this, like for anybody not just you, but anybody I feel like believing in yourself, like sure, it's the challenge. There's so many physical competitions but, as I'm sure and I'd love to hear your perspective on this it's such a mental like it requires so much of you mentally to believe that you're capable of those things. Did you come up against that needing that like belief in yourself? Oh yeah, and you were doing these physical comps.
Oh, yes, I remember on the Plexiglas comp. So we're 35 feet above the ocean. You're face down on this Plexiglas. You can see through it, I can see jellyfish, I can see fish.
I knew how high I was and I'm not the type of person who's scared of heights, but I was face down and I was next to Monty on this glass and I'm sobbing, sobbing. I was like Monty, I'm having a panic attack, I can't do this, I don't know what I'm going to do. And he was like hang on girl, hang on girl, hang on girl. And I was like, okay, I was so afraid to fall that I was literally in my head like don't fall, don't fall. And I just remember like, come back to yourself, come back to yourself. You got it, you got it. And I held on longer than my entire team and I was on there like 10 minutes longer than my entire team.
And then, after that challenge, I was with one of the producers and she had a marker and she's like do you want to write something on a rock with me? And I was like yeah, so I wrote on this rock. I will always come back to myself. And then I threw it in the ocean in Croatia and I made a promise to myself that, no matter what, through these experiences, I will never abandon myself again like I had in my previous, like past, and I made sure that I always came back and really found that inner strength, and it was so important.
Oh my God, it was here. You're going to make me cry. That is like so, like, oh my gosh, like how empowering, and like that's something that you have with you, that you have done Like no one can ever take that away. Nothing, no one, nothing Like that is yours.
That is yours. It's so special to feel like that and it's to feel like I was so scared to go. I remember the first day standing there. I wanted, I was like I got to leave, like this isn't a place for me. Look around, look at these amazing competitors and I'm like wait, I'm a competitor too. Like I just because I'm emotional and I'm soft does not mean that I'm not a competitor. Like I felt so out of place that first day and like I was almost picked last for my team and I knew that everyone saw me as a weak person and I talked to people and they're like yeah, we saw your season of Big Brother and I'm like what's that supposed to mean? It just was assumed that I wouldn't do well and I'm the last Big Brother girl left in the challenge and who knows how that happens, but it's by. It's by truly believing in myself.
That is just so amazing and like, and it is like you said. Like you said, it's like repeating that too. I mean, that's why I love hypnosis, right, it's like it literally just you repeat those thoughts in a relaxed state of mind so that your brain can start to believe them a little bit more.
You know a belief that just the thought we keep thinking and so we just had to keep thinking it and practicing it.
I had to journal and there was like, oh, we had off days and I would see people like they'd be by the pool, they'd be working out, they'd be doing all this stuff. But for me, I needed an emotional reset. So I spent all day in bed. I was either napping, I was journaling, I was looking through pictures of home because we were allowed to bring pictures, which was amazing, nice and I was reminding myself why I am here and who I am. I was writing my poetry, I was feeling my emotions, I was processing that and I was moving through them and that was truly the only way I felt like I could stay sane in this environment. And then I also found people that I could trust and really lean on and like Tyler became that person for me. He was my comfort zone and he was really someone that I could have leaned on in the house, and I wouldn't trade that for the world, because having those people and those friendships just means so much to me. Yeah, I mean you really?
do. I think a lot of people don't understand watching both Big Brother or the Challenge like really any competition reality show that it's like you don't turn off being human, like you can't.
Exactly, and I think people think that and I know that and I think also that could be a strength is like I know everybody's human. I know everybody feels anxiety, and even the strongest challengers. I remember Johnny Bananas. This man's been doing this thing for 20 years. When I, like I was having a really bad day, he pulls me and says listen, kid, I get anxiety. I have anxiety almost every day in here. You're not the only person. I just don't show it, but know that we're all human and we all experience the same emotion. So, no matter how perfect someone looks on Instagram, I might look put together on Instagram all the time because we only post the highlights, but at the end of the day we struggle like everybody else. Therapy has been amazing for me, working on has been amazing for me and taking care of my mental health is my number one priority because I have been in a place where I have struggled and everybody does.
So let's okay, so we're. You finished the challenge and I know like there's. You know you come out of that experience, right? How did you feel like you change or grew as a person? What did you learn about yourself? If you had to kind of encapsulate that experience?
I think, coming out of the challenge, I really feel like I found my voice as silly as it is, but I felt like in big brother, I was just terrified to speak up Honestly, in my real life I don't speak up, I never really say my opinion on things because I just want everyone else to be happy that I let myself take the back burner. And I felt like throughout the challenge I really felt that fire. I felt that confidence start to build back up and I really started to believe in myself and like I was freaking, doing these crazy things, swimming out to that boat in that ice, cold water and you're in a helmet, a wetsuit, boots, like you are being weighed down, flipping over that boat, memorizing those flags. And that second challenge, or third challenge, it was so intense and I felt like in that moment I was going to die. And then afterwards I remember sitting there and watching the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen and it is just a reminder you can do hard things. I promise you that if I can do hard things, you can do hard things.
I remember during Big Brother, when the Zing Bots came out, my mom thought that I was literally going to like have a mental breakdown or like not be okay. After that, because of how sensitive I am, and I was like oh, haha, like no big deal. And she was like wow, and I'm like yeah, I slowly started to build up that confidence and truly believe in myself and the challenge really just pushed me to a point where I feel like I finally have that armor that I needed.
Yeah, and you know what I love about that and what you just said is like sometimes it takes other people in our lives to like a little bit of time to catch up and don't let that be like a deterrent. So, like I've even noticed, like you know, like I'll make changes in my life, and then the people that are close to me like they have this like preconception of how I am or what I do, and like it takes time for you to still show up in your authenticity, the way that you've grown, the way that you've changed, and for other people to be like, oh interesting, okay, wow, all right, so the concept of you will update and will change.
Absolutely, and I've even noticed this just like being in the public eye now after Big Brother and things like that.
Like there's a lot of people I never know how to like take this, but there's a lot of people that are like oh, I like you a lot more outside the house now. I'm like, okay, but I'm like, I'm like, oh well, I appreciate that that any human can look at another human and recognize like we're all works in progress, we're all growing, we're all changing and we got to update our concepts of people as they do this work too.
Exactly and I wholeheartedly believe that. I always used to say people don't change and in some sense I believe that I will always be the same person to my core. You will always be the same person to your core, but every year I have grown, I have matured, I have become a better person and I learned from my mistakes. I might be in my mid 20s, but I'm a child and I fully believe that I am a child. I'm like how am I going to do my taxes? I'm just a kid, I'm still that right, so I don't know if those things go away.
No, that's what I'm saying. It's like people are always growing and I love to get people the absolute benefit of the doubt and you have to like. But to grow you have to believe in yourself and you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable, and that's something that I really truly learned in the challenge. I was uncomfortable the whole damn time, whether I was like on a semi truck or I was sitting in a room with people that I knew were lying to me. I was uncomfortable, but I grew through it all and I'm so proud of myself that I made it out alive from that experience.
So what's going through your mind, though? Like okay, so you're sitting in this discomfort, you recognize I'm uncomfortable. What's going through, like how do you maintain? Like, how do you maintain sitting there, cause I think a lot of us just want to like escape, go somewhere else, do something, break down, like as soon as we, you know, dip our toe into discomfort. It's like no, what do you do to like, grow through it?
I would say that moving through the discomfort is definitely not fun and it's never going to be fun and it's going to feel really weird and there were days where I literally felt like I was hitting my breaking point over and over and over again. But I just had to remind myself that I have been here before and I've made it through. I've been here when I was 12 years old, in middle school, like fighting off an eating disorder. I had been here when I was in high school fighting off bullying. I was in here when I was in, like when I was in my twenties and figuring myself out like. I have been here over and I've been to rock bottom more times than I can count and it is just so important to know that I have come up every single time from that and you just really have to push yourself through.
I would say just take your time to meditate, take your time to really believe in yourself, talk to yourself Like I know it sounds crazy, but even think in your head like you do, like sit, sit in the pool, sit in the corner, like just go somewhere and take your breathing and you really use that to your advantage and believe in yourself and be like I'm here for a reason. I belong to be here. I'm a strong person. In my daily life, I'm stressed out, I have this, I have that. I'm like take a second breathe and remind yourself that you're capable of doing this, and you've done harder things.
Oh, I just love that so much because it's so true. I think we don't forget, like the talking to yourself thing, like that's like all hypnotherapias is like talking to parts of ourselves, because we need to learn how to become our own best friend. And I don't mean that in like a lonely way, like we can have good support systems, but if you don't have your own back or, we're even worse, if you are berating you, like that's just going to hurt so much more. And you know, I mean I think it's just so beautiful that you use examples of things in the past to remind yourself like I've been through this before and I've made it out on top, like I can get through this.
I think we're so often we use examples from our past to prove why we can't do things. Use examples from your past to prove that you can. I literally have on my phone, I call, I have this list and it's called Britney's greatest hits and they're literally all the times. I made a list of all the times that I did things that I was really proud of, like times that I got through things, and so sometimes, when I'm not feeling like I'm, things are going that well, I pull up my greatest hits list and I remind myself like oh yeah, I did do that.
I did that. I did that Such a beautiful idea and I want to start doing that because I have to remember this. Like some days it's hard for me, even now, to still get out of bed and I'm like Alyssa you are on two very one, very mentally taxing show and another very physical show within the same year. You started a new career. You've done all these different aspects of your life. You have to give yourself grace and I think that's the hardest struggle as someone who grew up working three jobs just to pay any kind of bills. I started working three jobs when I was 15. So when I take a day off, I feel lazy, I feel unproductive and I'm so hard on myself. But rest is your number one supporter and you really need to take it when you can. Yeah.
So you're doing so many amazing things. Now, even after both these shows, you're teaching Pilates, rescuing dogs. You've got a fun new project that I won't say anything specifically about it, but I know as a friend that you're working on. Like are you doing lots of really cool things? Yeah, how do you stay so positive? Now, I know we said social media highlight reel, but, like in you know how in general, are some other things that you do to try to keep your mindset in that place so that you can pursue all these dreams?
I would say well, thank you, I'm super excited. Yes, big things to come early 2024. So I'm super pumped about it. But I would say stay positive.
Honestly, it's always been my personality and I have friends who are like negative Nellies and I love them with all of my heart and soul and they're like Alyssa, you were the person who was motivating me. I'm like no, but you guys were motivating me. You just don't even realize it, because I felt like this was my purpose. But at the same time, I love to get sunlight and I feel like it's so underrated. Get outside, get some sunlight, move your body, and I do something special for myself every single day. It's not so stupid. Like what, it's healthy for myself.
So either, breakfast, I'll have a yogurt bowl with fruit, and I'm like good, you put that in. I had chia seeds, I had hum seeds, I had honey and cinnamon I know all these great benefits, turmeric. And I'm like, ok, you got yourself all these benefits. Good, you checked off your healthy number. And now, later in the day, I am the biggest sweet tooth in the world. So I always have something sweet and I reward myself. So I'm like OK, I'll have a cookie. I like Bundt cakes a lot and there's something called nothing Bundt cakes I've always heard of that, but I've never had one.
Are they good?
They're the best things on Earth and I always talk about this on my subscribers. I'm like I love Bundt cakes, but I always have a sweet treat. And then I would say, once a week I do something for myself, like I would get a massage or I would take myself out to lunch or I would take myself to the park and take myself on a little date. I would do a me thing and it's just like a congratulations and I would say celebrate small wins. That is my best advice to anybody else.
Sometimes I'm like I just taught a class and that was a really hard class for me to plan and I was really nervous going into it and I did it. So I'm going to go take my ass to Starbucks and I'm going to spend $20 on a pumpkin spice latte and all the sweets because I deserve it, because I did something really hard and I celebrated, I tucked myself up and I'm like you're the shit and you have to look in the mirror every morning and some days I look and I feel like I want to negative talk myself. But you have to remember that your body is your very first home. Your body was the first place that you ever got to call home the first place that ever made sense to you. It really was the first place that comforted you, and I was mean to my body for so long. So now I just want to celebrate it, and that's how I stay positive is just by truly rewarding myself in all of the great ways Some healthy, some sweet, some fun.
Oh, alyssa, I love that so much. It's like, I mean, it really feels like I don't know. I know this sounds weird, but it is treating yourself the same compassion you would a partner, because you go with you wherever you go. And it's like dating yourself, doing something sweet For somebody that you love. Or it wouldn't even have to be somebody you're dating, but anybody that you love and have a relationship with you'd want to do something sweet for them, you'd want to be there for them, you'd want to speak kindly to them. It's like doing that to ourselves, like why is it so hard to remember to do it to ourselves?
One of my favorite quotes is talk to yourself like someone you love. And then another one is move your body because you love her, not because you hate her, and I think that is so important and to celebrate that you have a healthy body, like what a thing to celebrate. Every day I wake up and I'm so beyond grateful for that and I'm like how amazing is that I live to see another day, I get to experience love in all different parts of the world. And as someone who really, really values relationships, I have learned over the years specifically this year that the best relationship I have is with myself.
That is so, so true. So you were talking about being a very giving person. What advice would you give to somebody who's used to giving so much of themselves to other people? How can they start beginning to give that love to themselves?
I would say that you have to fill up your cup before you can pour it in anyone else's. It's a tale as old as time, but truly I have felt like I love the best. I'm the best partner, I'm the best friend, I'm the best sister, I'm the best daughter. When I feel the best about myself and when I'm struggling, I go MIA. My friends are like why haven't we heard from you? We need you, we want you. And I'm like listen, my cup is not filled right now. And they respect that and they understand that.
But being able to communicate that and really understand, so I think self-awareness is a really important thing to know, which I didn't even know before. And I'm like now I know my body is telling me I'm tired. My body is telling me I can't support you right now. And I have friends who have gone through a lot of big life events this past year that, like most of the time, I can show up for them. But sometimes I have to say I'm so sorry I can't show up for you right now, but I promise I will be back in the future. I have to show up for myself. I turn off my phone, I spend some time in nature, I go outside, I move my body, I do what makes me feel good, which is different for everybody, but do something that makes you happy, like spend time with your pets, spend time with whoever or whatever makes you happy. But you have to remember to put yourself first, and it's so easily overlooked. This is honestly something very new, probably within the past couple of months, because I spent so long especially getting out of big brother and having a partner who was also on the show Both of our mental health were affected by the show, but I spent all of my time making sure that that person's mental health was OK that I've completely forgot about mine. So when I no longer had that person, the weight that I had to carry was so overbearing that I literally never thought I would be able to make it through that. And I spent those two months, and it sounds so small now that I think about it, but those two months felt like six years that I truly felt working on myself every day to get myself out of bed, and Pilates for me saved my life and really felt like a new hobby, a new adventure, something I was doing for me.
I was so scared to go into that class you know how scary group fitness classes are when you don't know what you're doing. You were scared in the first place. I was a little bit, really. I was terrified. I was literally terrified. I sat in the back of the class, I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts and I had to buy my Pilates socks there because I didn't know you needed Pilates socks to do Pilates. I knew we had a reformer in the big brother house, remember. Wait, so wait.
Wait, I don't know if I'm tracking this timeline. You hadn't done Pilates. When did you do Pilates for the first time?
I started in January.
No way. Oh yeah, I just figured you were one of those girls that went to Pilates. A ton was planning on getting like becoming an instructor and then after big brother just decided, oh, I'll get a round of that.
No, absolutely not. I was. I would go to the gym and I would do shy girl workouts. I would stay to the dumbbells, I would stay in a corner and I would always go with a friend. I would never go to the gym by myself. Eventually I built up the courage to go to the gym by myself, but I knew that when I had gotten out of a relationship that felt like my entire identity, I had to rebuild my identity. So I was like how am I going to do this? We're going to find a new hobby that either benefits our physical health, our mental health, or both. And so I found Pilates and I had heard from a couple of friends that they absolutely loved it. So I went to a class.
Yeah, a big t-shirt, no socks. I had to buy my socks. There I was red in the face, I didn't know what I was doing, my feet were in the straps and I was like what is this? And I felt so embarrassed to be there. But I was like I kind of like this and I went back. And I went back and I got better and I fell in love with it. And then I decided that I wanted to teach it and I wanted people to feel the same way I felt and feel empowered and feel like that. But that was something new. Your girl had no idea what she was doing. And that big brush call makes sense.
We didn't talk about Pilates in my house because you hadn't even gone to class yet no, I knew nothing, literally nothing.
Now that is just like blowing my mind, because you literally I mean again full body goosebumps, we know this about me Like January first class, now teaching it, rocking it, like so I love that term that you said like building up an identity. Cause it was like you really, you honestly looked at it and you're like, okay, who do I want to be? And so you say, get a new hobby. What else say somebody's wanted to build up an identity right now, what else did you do or would you recommend in that position?
Yeah, you have to put yourself out there. I know you don't want to do it. My best friend never wants to do anything and I'm like dragging this girl out of the house by her hair. She's gonna listen to this and be like I know she is the most introverted person in the world, but she's like hey, I just started this new job, I don't know who I am, and I have to encourage her to put yourself out there. I am. I. I seem like a people person, but I'm not really a people person and I do believe that I have a conversation with people at all costs.
I don't like to do new things. I feel uncomfortable, just like anybody else does, but I do it. And when I started Pilates and I felt so comfortable, weirdly enough I kind of kept it my little secret, and so he wasn't really telling my friends that I had started this new like hobby and I was doing Pilates. I kept it just to myself and it felt like something that I really had to myself, like I was going and I was doing it every single day. And then eventually I told my friends, hey, I started this new hobby and I'm pretty good at it. And they're like oh really. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know how that happened, but I took the time to fail. I went to classes and I looked stupid. I put myself out there and I looked stupid and I really took the time to be with myself and like I would go to the gym, I would sit in the sauna and I would really just sit there and I would.
You don't have your phone. Put that phone down. I work for my phone half the time. I get it. Put the freaking phone down. Put your phone on. Do not disturb. I do that, at least for an hour a day, get outside and be with yourself. When you force yourself to be with yourself, you will figure out who you are, and that is something that I've really like I've really come to know is that when I forced myself to sit there and my thoughts and sit there with my body, this is just a show of who I am, and I feel lucky enough to be this person, that I've taken care of myself and I try to. But, like at my core, my soul is who I really wanna know and who I really wanna be, and we're also figuring it out day by day. I was also raised by very hippie parents and I love them dearly, and my dad sends me an inspirational quote every single day, so he is a very inspirational man as well.
That's. I mean, that's so great. I love what you said, like when you just like force yourself to be with yourself, like you find out who you are you know, you find out who you are and then you also get to decide in that silence like who do I wanna be? You know, who do I wanna be? I just love how you created this.
It's so exciting. You get to be whoever you wanna be. I was so afraid of that, brittany. I was so scared of who I was gonna be because I let the kids in high school tell me who I was gonna be. I got called every name in the book in high school Like I was letting people dictate. I know it's like shocking. I was like so.
There was a lot of rumors started about me early on in high school and people had called me a slut, a whore, anything you could ever say over a misunderstanding that actually never had anything to do with me and it was completely twisted and so traumatizing that when I went on Big Brother and I was in a romantic relationship and I got off Big Brother and I'm being called those same names, it's registering in my head again. Am I just a hoe? Am I a slut? Am I these awful names people could call me? And I went to therapy and my therapist was like let's break down what those words mean. What does it mean that someone calls you a slut? You don't know that person and what does a slut even mean? That's a stupid word. You guys can't hurt me. Sticks and sobs may break my bones, but you're very tight gonna hurt me and I'm not me, you're gonna hurt me.
And it's true. And as soon as you start to know yourself and believe in yourself, they slowly start to hurt less. And I was really just like lost in the sauce and I'm like, am I this person that you guys are telling me I am? I'm not. And I'm watching this back and I'm like, okay, I see myself. I see myself on Big Brother being an emotional person. I see my thought process and yeah, it's edited and it's not the full story, but I know what I was thinking and I was like you were out there doing your best and if you wake up every day and you do your best, I am so proud of you. If you get up and you walk a couple laps around your house and you moved your body when you didn't want to, I am so proud of you. Small wins Walk around your house and treat yourself to your favorite drink. I like kombucha. It's really good and it tastes like alcohol, so I like it.
Yeah, oh my gosh, like I, literally, as you're talking to this, I'm like I'm gonna come back and listen to this episode like whenever I need a pep talk, or I could just, you know, text you, but like seriously, I mean it's so beautiful, like it's so and it's so true, like when you listen to outside people and if those people are saying mean things, the more you give your focus and attention to what they're saying, you're adopting it as true.
And like I really had to catch myself at post big brother with that too that I had almost become convinced and I started to believe that I was the person that some people were wrongfully saying I was. And it's like you have to stop yourself, you have to recognize it and be like you know I'm not gonna eat poison. You know that's what it feels like. It feels like a justing poison. And then you're the one. You get sick Like you can't do it.
It's so true, and that's what they say about like and the people who are saying this stuff. I love that quote. It's like nobody above you is ever saying this stuff. People who are mean about you are always below you, and that is something that's taken me forever to realize. And also something that I've been working on is, when you resist something, it becomes bigger. I have resisted being an emotional person because I'm like I'm strong, I'm not emotional, I don't want this, I'm not that, but in reality, I am emotional, I am soft, I cry a lot and if I really am and you're strong, both can exist. Yes, I am not resisting those things anymore, I'm embracing them and I'm the strongest I have truly ever been, mentally and physically. I weighed myself the other day. I weigh 10 pounds more than I did a month ago and I'm the strongest I've ever been in, the healthiest, you know pure muscle would have sent me into a spiral.
What? Five years ago I would have been devastated. And I know that the scale is just a number. But being a female, it's hard not to really think about that and I'm like, oh my God, I'm gaining weight. Does that make me less than? No, I feel good. You only look as good as you feel. Let me say that again you only look as good as you feel. If you look, if you're the sexiest person on earth, but you have a bad mental health, like you are not going to be beautiful. You really have to like, do that work from within and really, really focus on that. And it's just so true Like I feel like the prettiest people in the entire world are like, oh yeah, let's praise them for looking a certain way, but who are they really? And that is who I want to know. And if they do the work and they are that strong person, that is the beautiful part to me.
Yeah that is so true. So, so, so true. So you had mentioned earlier, like anxiety sometimes is something that comes up for you, like what do you do in those instances where you're feeling anxious? Like how do you keep going on those sort of tough days?
Oh yeah, I have some anxious days. I have a lot of anxious days. Funny enough, I never had anxiety before big brother. I was not an anxious person. I mean like growing up, yeah, I would have anxiety is here and there, but I felt like I was able to put that under control. I was never medicated for it. Coming off of big brother, I am the most anxious person in the entire world. I can't even go to the mall by myself. I used to be the most independent person on earth. Who am I?
But truly, to deal with my anxiety now on a day to day basis, I just have to, like, talk myself out of it and I have to know when to rest. I have to know when I need a 12, I need a noon day to wake up and I know everybody doesn't have that luxury. Debating on your work schedule, but go to work, come home, go to bed early. You don't have to make it to the gym. I promise you don't have to.
You can have freaking Chick-fil-A, you can have take out food one night, but make sure you rest and make sure you're taking care of that and really push through that and don't push. Learn how to say no and for me that's like FOMO I don't want to miss out on this event or that event, but it doesn't make me feel good, so I'm not going to go. I'm going to go to what makes me feel good and I'm going to listen to that. But day to day, just really like being there for yourself and listening to what your body needs, is what's helped me so much with my anxiety.
Yeah, I think those are all great things. I mean it's so crazy. I mean, again, we remember that big brother is a social experiment, but do you remember, do you remember how paranoid I was at the end of big brother? Do you remember that one time like I got up in like the middle of the night because you were talking about my mom, who her name's Karen, and I thought you would call me a Karen?
Oh my God, I remember that you called me a Karen and I was like what?
Oh my God, no, I was so like it's so crazy about talking Like. This just reminded me because you were talking about things that like didn't exist before big brother. Like I remember that moment that was more towards the end of the game, right, but like I literally like I would sleep with my like ears still hearing, like did you ever feel like you were doing that? I mean, you were back in the bubble room in big brother, so maybe I was like in the intersection of all that is.
I was in La La Land. I was really just out here trying to make it through the days and I knew like I was like I'm going to go to bed, I'm not going to worry about it, really enough. I feel like that saved my mental health, like being like um delulu to what was actually happening in the house saved my mental health. But the paranoia does sink in and I felt like when I got off of big brother I was like my friends would go to the bathroom and I'm like where are they going without me? Are they going to go? Talk about me?
And they're like took a little bit of time for me to not feel like something was watching, like the cameras, you just sort of. It's just kind of constantly going back in your mind for three full months, so it becomes like a habit and then it's just constantly like like. It definitely took me a while to like feel comfortable being naked in front of a mirror Because I was so happy Because you're like are these people watching me?
I'm like. I was like, oh, it was a lot, it was very interesting and adjusting. And when I got back I traveled so much I avoided reality I will tell you at all costs, I might ask went to Hawaii a month later. I was there in Hawaii for almost a month and then I had gone to like I traveled Europe like I was gone, I was out, I avoided everything and I just wanted to feel good. And again, I can't blame myself. I'm human. We all just want to feel good in those moments. But it will hit you like a truck afterwards.
So you do have to sit and process your emotions. It's something that I also never wanted to do. I was type of person that I was like if I'm sad, that means I'm depressed and I don't want to be depressed. So I wouldn't let myself feel my emotions, so I would hold on to them and then just have a mental breakdown. So that is like I'd add to the way I cry a lot. But now I'm like when something happens, is this embarrassment, shame, guilt, happiness, sadness, no matter what it is? You need to figure out the emotion, process it and move through it, because if you're not doing that, you're going to be staying in this weird space.
Yeah, no, that makes so so so much sense and it's interesting from like I mean, of course we talked throughout this, so I feel like I understood a little bit. But like, even just hear you explain it this way, like I was kind of the opposite one. I sort of went home and just kind of like went underneath my covers and just like stayed there and like try not to show up too much, didn't go anywhere, like and it's funny because, as I saw, like not just you but like other people go out, I was like, oh, they must be doing so much better than me, like they're traveling, they can go out and do this, they could do that. But it's interesting now to hear that like actually, that was like a way to cope and deal with all this.
That was my way of coping, that was my way of masking it all and that was my way of not having to process it. Like I was on cloud nine, I was doing all of these things and like just avoiding real life. And then, when it really really came down to it, you probably had the upper hand by sitting in it and processing it. Maybe not, but, like I don't know, you move on a little quicker because now, a year later, I'm feeling myself process this, but I feel pretty healed. Like I cried today watching it because I felt anxious I won't lie about that, but I do feel okay. So it is just such a weird experience.
And watching the challenge back has been a very different experience because that was only filmed. Maybe that was filmed in April, yeah, so that is so recent that, like watching it back, I'm like I remember this. I remember these feelings. It's almost more intense. Like I remember watching Monty and Tyler and that elimination ring and I remember the anxiety.
I felt like I could not breathe. I felt like I think I got the wind knocked out of me over and over and over again, and not just because I was rooting for like one over the other, but it's like these people were going out for three hours and I knew they were in pain and I love them so much and I'm like I can't do anything about it. So, like watching it back, I feel the pain a little bit deeper and I see what I do to myself as the person that I true, I true damn like. You guys know me by now and I show you who I am over and over again. And that is something that I've realized in life is, people will always show you who they are. You just have to believe them. And if you want to wear your rose-colored glasses, if you want to wear whatever you want to wear, people will always be who they are.
That is the truth, isn't it. Well, so I want to ask you, because you did give me permission to do this. Like what? So Alyssa now, Alyssa right now, what's the relationship status? Are we single? Are we dating Like where's your blind dad right now?
Three relationships I'm just kidding, but I am currently single. So, being on a big brother coming out of it, I was in a relationship. It was a very committed relationship. There is a lot of love, there is everything. I gave my whole heart and soul to that relationship and I would say, when you are like fulfilling that gas, your gas tank's on empty and you got those last 10 miles to make it to the gas station I felt like I brought that to the challenge and I wanted to love and give and I did, and Tyler was so amazing for me in there and we've realized that we have such a beautiful friendship and I think that hurt people, hurt people and we both didn't want to end up hurting each other.
So we're like we both still have healing to do and growing to do. We're still in each other's lives. We care for each other so deeply and we've been leaning on each other watching these episodes. But I cannot be in a committed relationship right now knowing I'm still processed and healing this whole year and I think he's the same way.
Yeah, I totally get that. You know, and, and that's what's going to make it so beautiful. Though, when the time comes, when your cup is all the way full and you're just living your life and all of a sudden, you're just going to, I don't know, I don't know how it's going to happen, but you're going to walk down the street, you're going to lock eyes and it's going to be like you know, like you're going to be in that place and guess what? Like from a manifestation point of view, like you're going to be at the vibration to attract a partner who's there. You don't want to attract somebody who has an empty cup too.
That's not what you want Exactly, and you know I think about you with this, like I. So if you watch Big Brother, you know that I slept in my makeup a lot and I was very self conscious and that is something I've struggled with is going places without makeup and then someone seeing me and thinking that like, oh, she's unattractive in real life, like it is a deep insecurity. But I think about you, brittany, because you told me that when you met Steven, you were not wearing makeup, you were embracing who you truly were and you felt like you were the truest version of yourself. And I have now.
I've challenged myself. Two days a week, two days a week, I go to the gym with no makeup on and I see people looking at me sometimes and I'm like not thinking I'm cute with no makeup, but it's really. It's my vibration and I'm more confident and I'm more self aware and I'm like I am going to work on building my cup back up so that when my person is here and when I meet them, that I will be the truest, most loving version of myself and I can be a great partner, a great mother. I still want all of the children and I want that life so badly, but I'm not going to force it. I'm going to just be Alyssa, I'm going to work on myself and I'm going to be the best version of myself. So when that person comes into my life, I can truly be the gift that they were looking for, and they can be it for me as well, oh so true and I love.
I love that that story stuck with you because that's exactly where my mindset was that I was in college, I gave myself a month experiment that I'm like I'm not going to wear a lick of makeup for a month because I was feeling just like you were describing like so self conscious, I couldn't go anywhere, I just like I didn't want anybody to see me. And so, yeah, I did that experiment for a month zero makeup, and that was the month, like you know, steven and I were friends, but then we started to become something more and then I it wasn't only when, until when I looked back at it I was like, oh, he fell in love with me the month I didn't wear my makeup. And that's when I was just true and go with myself.
Yeah exactly and you were really like this is me and I think these like this whole past year I've had a lot of self growth but really just stepping into my true power and knowing that and being able to have that confidence and that's something I work on in therapy. Like you guys were like, oh wow, alyssa posts all these bikini pictures. She's got to be confident and some sense. Yes, I have that confidence, but down in my core I'm still that insecure, like 12 year old girl who struggled to eat a full meal because she felt like if she was the prettiest person in the room then maybe people would like her. And like I have that like inner child of me that needs healing and I work with her every day. I hold her hand and I tell her she's worthy and we're working on it. And it goes hand in hand with manifestation. I'm manifesting that life I want. I know I will be a great mother, brittany. I know I will.
I know it beyond, and we're going to be texting each other pictures all the time. It's just going to be so great. How's it going about this? I know that there's not. You know, to the extent that you're willing to share like dream with me for a little bit, like the manifested version of you, the version of you that has all that she has. All you know is who she wants to be. Like, what can we expect? Well, let's manifest together what can we expect for Alyssa in the future. Like what do you see?
So I see that whatever happening at early 2024 is going to be a beautiful success. I see it, I feel it and I know it and it's going to inspire and push people and it's going to be so incredible. And I see myself being a great fitness instructor. I see people coming up to me saying you've changed me not only physically but mentally, and like I see myself with maybe like three, four kids. I see myself with lots of rescue dogs and I see myself in the backyard and a beautiful partner, and I had a list of what I want my partner to have. I actually have it on my phone, which is funny enough, and I actually want to read this to you because this is something that my therapist told me. Like I was, I created one of those.
Right before I met Steven too, I created one of those, and he hits all of it. Yep, don't settle.
I have my dream man and I'm like they need to be funny and compassionate and thoughtful. Good communicator. Pda wants kids, loves dogs, stays in over going out, likes to try new things, likes working out. I fit lifestyle. Like likes to cook. Will be my best friend. I have all these, like these light things and I told my therapist and she goes you're missing one of the most important things that should be number one. Before funny AF and I was like what? And she's like let's try, respects me. And I see myself with a partner that is going to respect me and I think I have been like years ago and I'm not even talking recently like long time ago I've been in disrespectful relationships that I've stated that have made me feel like so low. But I see myself with this respectful partner who comes home from work or comes home from somewhere and is like thank you for being you, and like it's just so happy and sees me for who I am and I don't have to wear makeup, I don't have to be this perfect person.
They will love me for being imperfectly perfect, the way that I am, and that is what you're manifesting, what you're embodying right now, is respecting yourself so deeply that you can't help but manifest that person, because you know what is within right, like what is within is without and like that is exactly right.
Like I feel like I spent so long disrespecting myself, like I was so mean to myself, like I starved myself from meals, I let myself stay in abusive relationships.
Like I was so mean to myself.
But like now I feel like I'm at a point where I'm I really proud of myself.
I've come a long way and, like I will, I will have the life that I want and I know it's coming.
It might be slow but it's coming and there's a power in being single and like my friends sometimes, like on accident, will be like, oh, you'll find someone one day, and almost makes you feel less than that you're single, but it's so beautiful. Like I feel like I'm really getting to know myself all over again and it's truly such a blessing. And I do feel like manifestation is such a good part in that because every day, every night, I lay in bed and I envision this life and I feel it so deeply in my bones, brittany, that I'm going to get home from work and, weirdly enough, I have this vision of Christmas Eve and I've always had it ever since I was a teenager Christmas Eve and I'm sitting on the couch and I have those little sugar cookies with the elves on them and I'm sitting with my partner and all of our kids and I feel like this overwhelming sense of peace and I can't wait to actually feel like that and have that and it's so important to me and I'm so excited.
Oh my God, my body is just full. You're resonating so much because it exists, like that version does exist and you're tapping into it. I always kind of think, like with these manifestations, when we have something that's so visceral, that feels so real, right, when you have that vision, it's almost like the universe is letting you get a little sneak peek, like looking into another timeline that exists and it's like ooh great, you know you're getting a preview like to the movie. You know that's how it truly feels.
I can't wait for that and I just have felt this all the time and I'm like I know that's going to be here and I think I want it so badly that I grasp whoever will have it. And there's a quote that's like I would hold on to any, like I would. I would keep anybody if they held me the right way. And I think I've held on to so many relationships and so many people because I'm like are you my person? Are you my Christmas Eve? Are you this? And I'm forcing. You can't force.
The universe is when you're seeking and you're forcing you get more seeking. You know, like vibration of a question is not the same as a solution or an answer. It's like you're in like solution answer mode. You're in respect myself mode so that you will attract that. When you're like looking for other places, what do you get? You get other guys who are looking, or not it, or this or that, or you get more looking Like oh, I just feel it, alyssa, you're so there, you're so there.
And I, like you know like I've come so far and like you are a big help to that, though, brittany, and I hope you realize that, like you are a someone who was like just like a real person for me in that house when I really truly felt like I needed a glimpse of reality.
And talking to you and like listening to your hypnosis and I truly am passionate about it because it helped me really really so much and you even just now saying that like me learning to respect myself is so crazy, because it's so true, and I'm like, why don't I want to like go out and go with all these dates and like hook up with people and feel this like and my therapist calls it the popsicle effect Do you want to eat up the popsicle? And it wants to be really really good right now, and then it's melted in your left with sticky hands and you feel empty and I don't want that. I am waiting and I am working on myself and I encourage everybody else who's listening to this to really like fill up your own cup and you will thank yourself. Like you really have to be your first supporter and that's what it is, oh.
Alyssa, this is just so incredibly inspiring, Like the amount of, just like. I hope anyone who's listening to this like will literally go back, save it, listen to it multiple times. There's just so much here. But where can folks, other people, how can people follow your journey online, keep up with you, know all the cool things you're doing, like? Where should they go?
They can go on my Instagram.
It's Alyssa Snyda, so A-O-Y-S-S-A-S-N-I-D-A-A, I'll link to it, I'll link to it, I'll show you.
Yeah, just click my Instagram, you guys can go ahead and see that. But I do a lot for my subscribers. I try to do like motivational stuff every day or like try to share a little glimpse into my real life. I'm not confident enough to share my true life with 130 something thousand people, but I am confident enough to show it with my subscribers. So I do that a little bit. So thank you, brady, but I truly feel like this is the right path, and manifestation has changed my life in all of the most beautiful ways.
I'm just so glad. I mean, I didn't really, you know, share what I did for living in the house, and I'm always kicking myself for that because I'm like, oh, these are the kind of conversations that just like would have been so life giving to have more of in the house, and so I'm just so blessed and thankful and just love you so much. I'm so happy we're able to have this now. So thank you for sharing your heart with me and everybody.
I really, really, really appreciate it Also you fixed my back in my big brother house. I can't wait to watch that. I haven't watched it yet, oh you truly did.
It's so good. It's such a good clip. If people are wondering what she's talking about, there's a clip. I actually have it on my website because I found it on YouTube and I was like, oh, I want to put this on my website. It was the only time I got to do one-on-one hypnotherapy with anybody, because, alyssa, you did so well in our well, it's like meditation, because I think we were too stressed to really go into the state of hypnosis. To be completely honest, it was more like a deep meditation. But Alyssa's back was hurting after doing a particularly hard workout and I was like, oh, I could help with like hypnotherapy if she's game for this. And you were just like I don't know. You were so game for it and it felt really nice to be able to. I don't know.
The house was tough. It was so good, it was tough out, it really helped. I was like I really was envisioning a vase coming back together. Yeah, yeah, I think they gave me that. They gave me that it was so helpful. So, like straight up, that truly helped me and I was so excited. I remember like some people were like, oh good job, like talking to Brittany about what she likes, and I'm like, no, I'm not just doing it for a good job Like that, she helped me.
See, that's where people don't understand and I think that's why we got along so well, even if we weren't always working together in the house. We got along so well that it was like I wasn't doing that for game, you were not doing that for game. Like we understood, like intuitively, when, like you're just being a human and like I know, I know the game's always going on. And that was one of my biggest downfalls is forever thinking with some people that there was ever a pause or a time out.
That was a downfall of mine, but sometimes, just human to human, you just need it and I'm glad we were able to be on that same wavelength and I can't wait to see everything which is so special. You'll be doing here in the future.
I'm so excited and I'm so happy that I was able to chat with you, and this friendship has bring me like so much light and so much love throughout my entire journey this past year. So thank you for everything you do, brandy. You are amazing.
Oh, my God, wasn't that incredible, like I literally think my favorite takeaway was her coming to the realization that the self-respect that she is giving herself now is the thing that is precisely going to help her manifest a loving, respectful relationship in the future. Like, you, have to embody what you want first before you can manifest that thing to you, right? We manifest where we vibrate. So if we respect ourselves, others begin to respect us. It's the frequency that we're at. So how do you think about yourself, how do you treat yourself, and is that aligned with the version of you who has manifested the life that you want to live? Because those things have to match up. You'll notice how you're treating yourself and how you think about yourself and how you think about others around you is what you're getting back to you. You'll notice that that's what's happened right now. So how do you begin to elevate that to where you want to go? What do you need to do to close that gap? So take some of these tips that Alyssa offered today and, of course, if you're interested in the exact work that we do to close that gap here, it's hypnotherapy and coaching. So check out the show notes for more information about Alyssa as well as my hypnotherapy and coaching programs and so much more. It's all linked there. So I just want to thank you, travelers, for joining us here today on your journey towards destination manifestation. You are absolutely incredible, and if you haven't done so already, be sure to subscribe to this podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, if you learned something interesting about self-care here today, I urge you to go to the Destination Manifestation show on Apple Podcasts. Scroll down to the review section and click the link that says Write a Review, and so just type up an honest review there, and before you submit it, I want you to go ahead and take a screenshot on your phone and then send it my way. Either send it to me via DM on Instagram my handle is atbrit b-r-i-t-t. Dot. Who H-o-o-p-e-s or you can send it to my email, which is britneyofbritneyhoopscom, and if you do that and, trust me, it literally takes like five minutes then I will send you a Destination Manifestation ball cap.
Of course, as supplies last, I only have a certain number of them and I'll let you know, but they are so super cute. I have light pink caps, I have dark pink caps and if you're located in the US, I'll send one your way, as long as I have them. I think I have like 30, some odd of them, so I am happy to send one your way as a thank you. You're going to manifest some goodies. It's my way of thanking you for listening to the show. All music for this podcast is by A-Cubed, and I'll catch you next time.