Episode 011

0:06 - Spiritual Coaching Red Flags and Manifestation

4:49 - Trusting Your Intuition and Taking Action

10:42 - Exploring Manifestation and Visualization

20:29 - Visualization and Manifestation for Achieving Goals

30:40 - Manifesting Goals in Big Brother

40:49 - Winning Mindset and Manifestation Programs

48:07 - The Impact of Competitiveness on Winning

55:08 - Resilience in the Face of Setbacks

1:02:16 - Lessons and Perspective

1:05:09 - Pursuing Law School and Finding Happiness

1:10:20 - Exploring Happiness and Aphantasia

1:18:05 - Free Ballcap for Honest Podcast Review

In our latest podcast episode, we delve into the fascinating realms of spirituality, manifestation, intuition, and personal growth. We have an enlightening conversation with our special guest, Michael Bruner, a competitive beast and familiar face from Big Brother 24. His unique perspective shaped by his background growing up in a religious household and his experiences in sports adds a dynamic layer to our discussion.

We begin by exploring the dangers of blindly following spiritual teachers who offer unrealistic promises. The significance of recognizing red flags in such situations cannot be overstated. A personal encounter with a manipulative spiritual documentary underscores this importance. The discussion then takes an interesting turn towards the subtle yet crucial distinction between manifesting a feeling versus a specific person. It's essential to understand that we don't get to determine the specifics of a manifestation; we must leave that up to the universe.

The journey continues with an exploration into the power of trusting your intuition. Your intuition knows your unique path, and it's crucial to listen to it. But, as we discuss, merely listening is not enough - you must also take proactive steps. This understanding is supplemented by an exploration into the art of manifestation and its connection with visualization. These tools can be instrumental in helping you reach your goals.

The conversation takes a turn towards the power of hypnotherapy in manifesting success and the significance of having a winning mindset. Michael shares what it takes to have a “comp beast” mindset. He emphasizes the importance of preparation and how being kind to oneself and accepting mistakes can make a world of difference.

The discussion concludes with a reflection on the impact of competitiveness on winning and the power of resilience in the face of setbacks. We also explore how to convert not-so-positive experiences into valuable lessons. Michael shares his story of applying to law school and how his background in a religious household and experiences in sports shaped his perspective.

This episode is a testament to the importance of trusting your intuition, taking action, and manifesting your dreams. Whether you're a fan of Big Brother, interested in spirituality, or seeking ways to enhance your personal growth, this episode offers a wealth of knowledge and insights.

Links

• Michael Bruner on Instagram

• “What It’s Like to Be ‘Mind Blind’ by Time Magazine

• “A Silver Lining” - The Happiness Lab podcast episode

• Brittany’s 1:1 Hypnotherapy & Coaching Programs

• Music for the Podcast by Acubed

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Thanks so much for tuning in and I look forward to catching you on our next episode!

Transcription

I'd like you to imagine your dream life, See the version of you who has what you want to have, feels how you want to feel and is who you want to be. I'm Brittany Hoops, your hypnotherapist and manifestation coach, and this is the show where I'll teach you to master the full power of your mind to guide you on your journey towards destination manifestation.

Yeah, thanks for that back.

All right, welcome back. I am Brittany Hoops and this is destination manifestation. So last night I want to tell you a little story. Last night I was watching a documentary series I guess you could call that. It was only three episodes, very limited series on Amazon Prime and it's called Desperately Seeking Soulmate, like escaping the Twin Flames universe. Okay, so this is not a Marvel movie.

It was a documentary that I have a lot of thoughts about, many of which I will not share right now, since this is not what the podcast is about today. But it was essentially about this guy, the spiritual teacher, which I just hate. It's always spirituality, I guess these freaking documentaries made about them. It's never golf or anything like that, right? No, the cult leaders don't ever pick truck driving as their cult. It's always got to be spirituality for some reason.

And he's basically this cult leader that would tell people what to do and try to convince them to change their gender and all this really crazy, stupid stuff. Very, very harmful. And it got me thinking and, honestly, I literally cried. I don't know how many people cry at this documentary. I cried because it just made me so sad for the people that fell into his trap in the name of wanting to feel better and wanting to. They didn't call it manifest, but thank God they didn't. I don't want them to tarnish the manifestation name, but they were wanting. These people would come to them because they wanted to a certain person to fall in love with them, and this guy was guaranteeing that he could help them make this certain person fall in love with them. And it just got me thinking about it. It made me so sad because I'm like here are people who wanted help feeling better, who wanted to manifest something in their life. They thought it needed to come through the form of this specific person, but really they just wanted love, and it just made me sad to see them being taken advantage of by this guy when there's so many other beautiful resources out in the world that they could have discovered. That would have actually led to what they were actually desiring. And it made me think of some of the red flags that you might see and what I wish. Maybe they knew at the time what might be red flags. And so here are the main takeaways as a trained, certified hypnotherapist and a trained, certified life coach, here are some red flags that the people who fell victim to this guy were not aware of, but I want to make sure that you're aware of and this could apply to coaches, could apply to hypnotherapists, it could apply to any sort of teachers, even medical therapists anybody who's here to help your mental well-being and your spiritual well-being.

This is what you need to be aware of, first of all, anyone who claims that they can help you manifest a specific person or really like anything like a specific outcome. Nope, red flag, red flag. Red flag, because here's the thing we don't, and it goes absolutely against the core, one of the core tenets of manifestation, which is we don't get to determine the how. The universe determines the how. So here's the difference. He was claiming that he would guarantee you could manifest a specific person if all in love with you, whereas manifestation would say let me help you manifest your soulmate or true love or a loving partnership. Right, you see how that's more expanded and that could take so many different forms. So this is why we always focus on manifestation in terms of a desired feeling or desired generalized outcome, knowing that the details of those things are left up to the universe. Oftentimes, I'll tack on to my affirmations this or something better. So who are we to decide the specifics of these things right, when the universe ends up having the perspective that we just don't have.

Here's another red flag you should be aware of. No one should tell you what to do. Any teacher, hypnotherapist, coach their only role is to help you find the answers within yourself. Do you see that distinction? I mean, I can't tell you how many times I work with clients. They're like Brittany, should I leave him, or what should I do? Or you know, they're wanting the answer from me because we've been trained to think that that's like easier. We don't have to think through the hard parts. We oftentimes don't have the self confidence to think that we do have the answers. But my whole goal and I will never express my personal opinion to any client, and sometimes it frustrates my clients, but I won't do it because my whole goal is to teach you how to find those answers within yourself. Okay, because, remember, you ask. The universe provides. It is done. It's done Like. How exciting is that? Cosmically, quantumly, there is a timeline that exists where your manifestation is done. So the only one in the entire existence that knows how to go down your unique path is your intuition, your inner voice. It's the universe. The universe has created it. Therefore, the universe is the only one who knows how to experience it, and that's what's kind of funny here.

We're out here like looking for other people and other coaches, and I mean, I'm a hypnotherapist and coach. I know this right. But the best coach you could ever have is your intuition, which is in your back pocket. It's always with you because they're the only one that's going to know the path that's unique for you. Your route is unlike anyone else's. Now this doesn't mean you can't learn skills that will help you along that route. You may need to learn some skills. This doesn't mean that you can't be inspired by other people's journeys. That's perfectly fine and okay too, but no one can give you that journey right, and so if you're having trouble tapping into that part of yourself that can hear yourself, a lot of times we've stuffed it down so much, we've just like, we've repressed it. We've looked at other people for the answers rather than listening to ourself that it's barely a whisper. And so if you need help turning up the volume on your intuition, a coach and a hypnotherapist can be very helpful for you to help you reconnect, and they themselves are not going to have your answers, because you have your answers and so I just think this documentary I wanted to just like talk to you guys about this because I feel like it was such a good reminder, even for me and even as I think about like my own business.

I've been so blessed to manifest you all, like I've been so blessed to manifest so many amazing clients and listeners of the show and like I just I will never take that for granted. But lately I've been feeling like this bigger calling to do something big and like disruptive. I've always had this deep inner knowing, even before I ever started my business, like years ago, that it's like, oh, my path is not gonna be traditional, like I'm gonna do something big, I'm meant to do something like really big. And it's funny because I kind of thought that big brother was that thing, big brother was the big thing, but that feeling has still not gone away and so I don't think it's fulfilled yet. And it's frustrating because it's like, okay, well, what is it? If it's big and no one else has done it before? I can't look to other people to tell me what it is. I have to look within, and it's a good reminder of that.

At the end of the day, it's all about tuning into your intuition and tuning into the intuition, listening, and then not just listening and putting that kind of like in the back of your mind. It's actually taking action on those things. I can't tell you how many times I'm working with clients where they're like oh yeah, earlier this year my intuition said I should do this, but I haven't done anything about it. And it's like why? It's because we've been so trained to look for other people to give us the answers. We don't trust ourselves. And so it's building up that integrity and that trust within yourself.

And so what action do you need to take? What is the next step that your intuition guides you to? You know, ask your intuition, what do you need from me next? God, source, universe, inner being what do you need from me next? It's kind of like you playing this like blindfold game, right when you have the blindfold on and the universe is like take three steps forward, the universe knows where you need to go, you listen and you gotta take the next steps. And it's scary because you can't see in front of you and you're like am I gonna fall? But you have to trust and only those answers can come within you. No guru, no teacher, no cult leader is gonna tell you what that is. It's about listening to yourself and you have to do something. The universe isn't just gonna teleport you there. You have to take the actions. You have to listen and then take action on it, and that's exactly what we're gonna dive into here today.

Okay, my big brother 24, festy Bestie is officially becoming my man of Festy Bestie for this episode. And seriously, guys, this conversation is such a gem because Michael Bruner you probably know him from big brother. He is a comp beast. I should know his stats. You guys probably know better than I do, but I think he tied. I don't wanna misspoke or speak, I should know this. Sorry, michael, I should know this off the top of my head. I'm pretty sure he tied for the most competition wins ever on big brother. He won quite a few competitions and can I just set the record straight that we became friends before we had a final two, before he had ever won a single competition. So I am not a competition gold digger, I'm just. I just found a friend who ended up being very talented and we both had our own unique talents which made us such a fun duo.

To tell you the truth, I was kind of nervous about asking him to come onto the podcast. I didn't know if he'd want to come on my show and talk. I mean, I knew he'd wanna talk to me, since we're like best friends, but, like you know, I didn't know if he'd wanna talk about this subject. But I love this conversation because I got to see a whole other side of him, which you'll get to see here too. And so we learn what it means to have a comp beast mindset, how you could overcome disappointment when you're pursuing your goals, and maybe that how that you envision doesn't turn out the way you initially thought. And we also learn about the power of visualization and like so much more. It's really a treasure trove. So let's go ahead and dive right in.

Yeah, take a step back For the ones who've been gone.

Michael Besty Besty. Welcome to Destination Manifestation. How are you?

I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

I am so excited Any opportunity or chance to talk to you. I know we talk all the time, but still, this is fun.

Yeah, I love it.

I will admit this I am very excited for this conversation and also like this is not the kind of conversations we ever had in the house really Right, yeah, I know, I know.

And this is what's kind of funny is like I didn't even really know. Like I mean, of course we'll talk all about it, but I didn't know where you were on the manifestation spectrum of things. We didn't really talk about this in the house. We were always talking about you know, game and all this stuff, and I'm excited to kind of hear your perspective. So let me just ask you manifestation tell me a little bit more about that, Like how did you first learn about it? What's your relationship with it? Like let's just get a baseline, how are you feeling?

Yeah. So it's funny. I think the first time I was ever able to like put a name to what manifestation is as a whole like honestly came from big brother. I remember there was a contestant her name was Ashley from season 14 who talked about dream boards, and then I think Christy in season 21 like actually talked about manifestation a lot, and so I think that was the first time I had like terms to really put it.

But I look back on my life and like I think we all experienced manifestation in some way, shape or form. We just have different names for it. So like I grew up in a very religious household and there was always the phrase God helps those who help themselves, and that was basically saying, like sure, you can ask and you can pray for something, but if you don't actually do any of the work behind it, like God can't do everything for you. So that was like my first thing. I look at that and to me that's kind of what manifestation is about. You can put out these thoughts and ask the universe for things, but you also have to do things yourself. You can't just say I want $10,000 in my bank account by tomorrow. It's not gonna happen if you just sit back and do nothing. So I think I look back and there's just been so many things that's like, okay, I was manifesting without realizing I was manifesting cause. I didn't have a term for it.

I know, I so can relate to that. I mean, you grew up Catholic, right? Yes, yeah, me too, yeah. And so, yeah, it's so interesting, cause it's like you hear all these things and you learn all these things, and maybe you grew up this way, and then you kind of just hear it in a different sort of version, but you're like, oh, there's actually like a tremendous amount of crossover, and that's what I always like too about like the more I learned about like neuroscience, the more I learned about psychology and all these things too. It's like that crosses over as well, and it's like we're just all talking about the same thing.

Yeah exactly, we're just using different words.

We're doing, you know, using different things, but I love how that, how you kind of came across like manifestation as a concept through Big Brother, Of course it would be which I love that. I'm curious did you have any other experiences, maybe growing up, high school, anything, where, like the power of your thoughts kind of came into play in any sort of way?

Yeah, definitely, and I think that's where we talk about manifestation, or, you know, I've had in this religious context and some people think of it very spiritually, but I also experienced it a lot in sports because just in so many different things. So I used to be a swimmer and a runner and for swimming, before our meets sometimes we would lay down and we would visualize our race and we would like have a stopwatch, and so we would like picture in our mind like okay, I do my takeoff or my dive, I do. And you tried to like stop it and visualize your race, to like get your time.

Or when I was in cross country, I remember we did this exercise at the beginning of the season we all lined up and we were told Bear Coach, like, jump out. You know, do like a standing long jump, basically as far as you possibly can. And so we all did that, and then we marked our spot with a rock and then we went back to the line and my coach said, okay, now on this jump, jump farther than you put your rock. And so then we did it and I think just about everybody jumped past it. And then my coach said you know, like what gives on your first jump, I told you I'll jump as far as you possibly can, and then, when you all had a goal that you were looking at, you were all able to go past that. So it's something that's not religious, it's not fear, it was sports, but it's like it pops up in all these different ways and you know, it's funny looking back now like how much it was always there. I just never had a term for it.

Oh my gosh, this. I love that coach. That coach is onto something, cause that is so interesting. The first thing that you're talking about like the mental visualization sort of part of it. You know they've done studies that are so similar to that. I'm gonna botch the like statistics of it, but they would have groups that would visualize doing free throws, a group that would actually practice free throws every day physically, and then a group that they're just like I play as much basketball as you want, like who cares about you guys? And then I think it was like I think it was like there was a 25% improvement of those that practiced every day physically and like a 23% improvement of those who only visualized. Didn't you ever physically pick up a basketball? It was like that is so mind blowing to me, like I mean 25 versus 23,. We're like you know that's hardly any difference there. And imagine if you combine both, which I'm sure, with you and your, your track team was doing like okay, physically running as well as visualizing these things too it's funny.

That's so funny that you say that cause it actually like triggers another memory. I took piano lessons like all through, like from third grade to 12th grade, and whenever I would go on vacation, my piano teacher would tell me like bring your books along and practice, like on your lap, and I was like that's the dumbest thing. But it was like no, like your brain is still working, and like visualizing the keys and everything, like it is a good form of practice. I never even thought about that.

I mean it's so interesting, cause it's like the areas of the brain, when, like when we're visualizing these things, literally the same areas of the brain fire and you're building up those subnaptive connections, you know, and so that it's like literally building the skill, and so you can imagine, when you apply that to a goal or a dream, or who, even the kind of person you wanna be, you're visualizing that again and again, and again, you're giving your brain those instructions to be able to, you know, be that person you know in that way. That's so cool. I had never heard those stories, so that's a really neat sort of thing. So, wait, I also. This was also something when I was like, hey, do you wanna be on my podcast, michael, give me an excuse that we can just like talk and geek out. I learned that you have a dream board, or at least you used to do. You still have one, or at least you used to have one.

Yeah, so I, yeah, I still have the actual board. It was like just like one of those little bulletin boards. It kind of fell apart when I moved down here but I had it together and I need to update it now because I had big brother on there and so like something that I'm like okay, I can move on to some new dreams for it. But again, I learned about dreams.

You know, that's actually a hack, though that's actually a hack. Leave at least, if you do update it, leave at least one thing that you did accomplish on there, because it signals to your brain that like, oh, these things are possible. Look, that one already happened, so these other ones, like, let's categorize that in the same thing, so just an FYI hack. I like that, yeah, I didn't know that.

But, yeah, it's just like this thing that I learned about from watching Big Brother and I was like you know what, like sure I'll do it and I think because you know, as some people you know think it's weird or two out there, whatever it's just like it's no different than like making a bucket list or a checklist or putting things like these are things that I want to do, things that I want to accomplish, and I think sometimes, like not to get cynical, but sometimes we're just told like our dreams are stupid sometimes, or like that's never gonna happen for you, and it's just like why not?

Like, and even if it doesn't, I think part of you know the dream board and, like you know, kind of going back to what we talked about a little bit ago, it's also about doing the work to get there. So, like it's about making changes in my life and I think probably the closest thing that I have to that I like to use like a habit tracker, to like keep me on track, cause I can be like the least motivated person ever, or like I get off track.

But if I Say that to me, but I never believe it, I'm like. I only ever see the motivated side of you.

But like for me, like I'm sometimes like motivated by competence, so when I can physically like check something off at the end of the day, then, or if I'm like, oh, I don't want to like do this thing, like no, it's my reward to myself and I get to check off the box. Like you know, some of that that helps.

So I believe in visualizing things, did you say an app. Is that what you use?

I just have, like this spreadsheet that I printed out and I put it on my fridge and I mark off the boxes every day, cause. Then it's like one of them that I have on there is like I have the world's biggest sweet tooth, and so, like sometimes when I'm like, okay, I need to get on a bit of a health cake, I'll put on there, like you know, some sort of limiting. Like hey, like maybe only have one sugary snack today. So like then when I'm like in the fridge, I'm like, oh, it's right here, right next to me. Like I already checked that box off today, that I already had my one. Like don't do it.

I could use that in the big brother storage room. I need one of those checklists on that candy.

The Mr Good Bar.

Oh my God, I have not had a single one of those in the year and a half since you know.

I think the two of us were the only ones who ate them, so all the Mr Good Bar's that were eating in the house.

I would, I would, yeah, oh, maybe she I don't know if she ate Mr Good Bar. She definitely ate the other candies because I would see her sometimes in there I'd be like caught. I'd be like, oh, happened to meet you here in the candy drawer. That's how we knew we were stressed for like stressful times we're hitting the candy. You know it's so funny when you talk about like, yeah, are you a visual person? Do you feel like you? Like in terms of your kinesthetic senses? Are you more visual than auditory or, like I don't know, tactile?

or whatnot. So I think I do well with seeing something I think we've talked about this before Like when I close my eyes, like my brain doesn't work, where I can like vividly picture things Like I don't know why it just doesn't. So, like when you were doing like the guided meditations and you pictured this. I'd be like I know what it looks like, but like I can't like hold that visual in my mind for this. But I'll do my best.

I asked you to describe your living room to me, what would you? I mean, you don't have to describe it like we're. You know, the whole world knows it. But like like. What would you say if I said describe your living room?

I mean, I think I'd be able to explain it Like this is the furniture that I have in it, like I don't, like it's like comes in flashes. I can't just like close my eyes and like, okay, I can see it here. I don't know, my brain just isn't wired that way.

I and you know it's so interesting like being a hypnotherapist, like I've learned like people are all on the spectrum of Visualization, of any sort of Kinectetic sense of any kind. I think a lot of times we think that it needs to just be this crystal clear picture and sometimes we see that with, like you know chess masters that they can visualize all their moves in a row or something. Okay, our visual artists, you know, can really see these things, but I'm the same way. It like comes in, like I can hold a vision, but like then it kind of like disintegrates and it's like all all of that you know is is fine. But I do find I do work with some people that have it's called Aventasia, which is the inability to be able to visualize and believe it or not.

You can still do now a group hypnosis setting not gonna work so much, but one-on-one hypnosis. You can actually still do hypnosis even if you can't visualize. I would just go about it in a different way. Usually I would like I would say like, remember a time you Held an apple or something like that or you know whatever. I'm having them visualize and then I would say, like, perceive yourself there. So it's like, it's almost like it's kind of like a short. It's almost like taking a detour in the brain. I'm able to like get them to a memory and then place them in that memory, as opposed to them having to create it From scratch there anyways but anyways, that's getting like super technical, but you know, interesting to think.

I think I told you about this, but I kept a cardboard cutout of my BB key on my desk for a full year before, I guess. Essentially when BB-23 ended I was like I'm gonna be on the next season and I I literally, I mean, think I took the time to do this I printed out a key, I photoshopped my name on it, so it said Brittany, nice and big on it. I cut it out, found some cardboard, put it on my desk, so I look at it every single day and that was such a satisfying feeling to Replace it with my real key. You know, after the fact and I got that on my desk for a good amount Then it was just like getting in the way, so I put it back with all my other big brother stuff.

But, um, another thing that you could also do too, for anyone who's listening and interested in vision boards, dream boards, those kind of things you can make them the background of your phone, background of your computer. I also do that too, just because you're like where places, like like your fridge, where places. You're gonna see it a lot. It will just subconsciously kind of be there and it's just kind of like a little ping to your mind like, yep, here's where we're focused, here's where we're going, like this is what we're doing. So, um, this was a question somebody had. Um, for you know I put out feelers if anybody had questions. Did you use any aspects of? I know you mentioned big brother was on your vision board any aspects of manifestation, positive thinking, anything like that, to help you get through casting and to make it on big brother?

Yeah, absolutely, and I will say I Like, I'm very critical of myself. So through the entire casting process, I probably wasn't as confident as I should have been. Um, because I'm always just like and we did this all the time like what's worst case scenario? Well, that could happen, like when we were in the house, and so I thought about that so much through casting it was like, you know, oh, I feel like I did okay in this interview, but there's probably someone better and this is probably the end, but at least I know for next year, you know.

But so I was kind of negative, but, um, I, you know, I still held on to hope and you know, as I kept going, I think it, you know, but I also was like almost afraid to let myself get to like Attached, I guess I'll say to like that I'm gonna be on, because I was like I'm just gonna be Crushed if it doesn't happen. So I think it was almost a way of like Protecting myself or, if it didn't happen, to be like, oh well, I wanted it, but like I knew it wasn't gonna happen and I prepared myself for that. So, which I'm like that's so dumb. I've spent way too much time stressing and I could have just been like you can do this and be confident. Got more.

Right and like realize those things. But I kind of see it both ways. I mean I can see it like okay, sure, as if that's like kind of like a defense mechanism, but also a certain element of detachment Could also be helpful, like an energetic sort of sense, like I'm even thinking myself like that was the way I found a certain level of detachment with it all was I had just gone Full time in my business a couple months prior to big brother. I remember in my audition video I told them I was like I'm going full-time in 83 days. Like I told them this and my very first audition video and I just kept on repeating myself like I know this is gonna be amazing summer, no matter what. Like I get to be full, I get to live my dream job. I mean I had been doing it on the side for many months before then, but like I was doing it full-time now I'm either gonna be doing that all summer as I watch big brother or I'm gonna be on there.

You know and it's so.

It's like it was kind of like a way to you know, maybe that detachment in a way might have. You know, I don't know if you become so attached to this one Singular outcome, that's not how manifestation works either. Like we don't get to determine the how. I know both of us had made it to various levels of previous season auditions Like can you imagine if we would have been in one of those other seasons? Like we don't get to determine the how of big brother.

It happened the season you know we were on it just may be sad, though, to hear that you were like nervous and stuff like that. Like to think about how nice it would have been To be there for each other during that, to know we were both going through that experience and yet to not know each other yet. That would have been nice.

Yeah talk to me about other manifestation tools you use. Now I know something. I know we've talked about something that spoke to my heart week one. A big brother, is that you shared your Affirmation with me in the BB house, which was you can and you will, and then, of course, we expanded it for our festy bestie Combs, we can and we will. And I remember when you shared that with me week one, I was just like oh my god, this is my person in the game.

He doesn't even know. I do affirmations for a living, like this is my person. Talk to me about why. What role affirmations play for you. Why are they important for you? Like? Talk to me about that.

Specifically with that phrase and it's funny like I stole it from the host of big brother Canada. She said it during one of their double evictions when someone didn't want to make a decision. She's like no, you can and you will. And I remember hearing that and I was like I know you were referring to the game when you said this, but it's like that's a great Model and that was actually like I wrote that on a card and that was at the center of my.

My dream board was you can and you will. Because it's just a reminder, because, like I said, I can be very critical of myself and it's just like nice to have a reminder that, like you're capable of doing this and like you Will do this, it's not just that you're capable, but you will, it will happen for you and I think for me, as someone who always thinks worst-case scenario and can be kind of hard on myself, it's nice to to see that and you know, I Think even just like repeating that over and over it kind of helps and at some point it just becomes second-aged, like yeah, I can and I will, and it's not just, oh, I'm telling myself that I can't ever like I, you'll start to believe it you really you repeat it enough that you really do truly start to believe it.

I mean, that's the whole crux of Hypnotherapy is we get in this very relaxed state where there's not all that crunchy Static in your mind of the conscious mind. Right, we let that go. We get in a relaxed state. We repeat positive statements to ourselves. In that relaxed state, hypnotists call them suggestions. We repeat them again and again and again and then at first you're like I don't know about this, but you keep on repeating it. You're like well, maybe you know your brain wants to like look for evidence of how that can be true. You know, why are you giving me this instruction? That's so false. It finds evidence that it can be true. And I mean, that's exactly what I did.

I did my little 10-minute hypnosis every night, all of casting process, saying I am on Big Brother 24, and At first it was just like, oh, it felt like I just cringe just saying it, like who am I that think I'd be on there. But then all of a sudden I was like well, the season before had some interesting people. I mean you don't meet a hypnotist every day. Maybe that's interesting, I don't know. You know, and you start to find evidence that fulfills that thought. Um, you can and you will. I just I didn't even know it was on your freaking dream board, like that really. Oh man, michael, you remember some of those comps I just held on to that sentence for dear life, you know, because it's in, it's had to be true. It had to be true, or else our big dream that we worked so hard for Was just gonna go away and that man that just that kept I kept both of both of us a flow. I appreciate you shared that with me so early on, because, lord knows, I needed it.

Yeah, and there were definitely times within competitions when I would like tell myself I remember like the slip and slide one we were out there for an hour and a half or whatever and it was just like something to like keep my mind focused on and like stay positive, you know, rather than be like oh my gosh, I'm dying. Right now I'm so tired, like if I let my mind think that like then like I'm gonna Shut down, but if I like say positive things to myself and just kind of keep reminding myself and keep myself focused. So I also found it really helpful for that, like when I was in the stressful competitions, and just kind of staying calm and focused is Something better to focus on than how tired I am.

That's so true. And how you were talking about. You know, manifestation isn't all about just thinking the thoughts and then doing nothing. It's so amazing to see how your thoughts Impact you. If you would have thought I'm so tired, you're gonna feel more tired, and then how's that gonna impact your actions? You're not gonna be as fast, you know, but if you're thinking these thoughts, I can and I will, I can't, and I will, I can't, I will like that's going to Create a greater sense of motivation which, in turn, fuels your actions.

I know we've talked about this in past episodes of how this kind of this trickle down effect from our thoughts to our motions, to our actions. And it's just I mean it's, it's so true, even if we're just setting aside manifestation, like completely like it's not some woo-woo, like Magic bolt of lightning that happens to you, it's like it literally is like how it cascades through your mind, all starting with that thought. So we talked a little bit about mental rehearsal. I want to talk about that again. You shared a really interesting story with me, though, about okay, we focused so much on getting home to big brother, right, that's like such a focus. And then we're in the house and there's a million things to focus on. Talk to me about what you focused on in Big brother and how you focused on, like, how far you get in the game and that. Like tell me more about your thought process there.

Yeah, and this is something that I look back and was like that was a mistake. But I think, you know, at a certain point I had won a lot of competitions and I knew I had a target on my back, I there were attempts to backdoor me and, and so in my mind, you know what, if you make it to the final six, you are automatically guaranteed to play in the veto competition. So like, if I can just make it to six, at least I'll get to play and fight for my life. And then if I lose and I go home, at least I had a chance and I was like I have to just make it six. I have to make it six when I made it to six. And then I was like it was a double eviction.

It was all happening so fast and that was the one time that that one veto competition where I went in and I was just so Frazzled, I was not calm or focused and I was just like. I was so focused on getting to this point I didn't think about when I actually get here and I knew what to do. I should have just kept doing everything I had done before them, but I just was so worried about looking too far ahead, that I wasn't focused on the now that I was so short-sighted and then that was kind of I just wasn't in a good headspace and of course the competition required very like calm, calculated motions and I was just not in that headspace going in there and the very short time we had was like oh, it just was a recipe for disaster.

Oh, michael, and that's just so Interesting because it's like you focus on get to six, get to six, get to six if your brain's like alright, michael, I hear you, we're getting to six, okay, here, yeah, great instructions like let's keep going my brains like we did it, we did it, we're done.

It's like no, no, we're not.

Because I was an exact same boat. I could not, and what was freaking me out is I knew the implications of this too. I could not visualize myself in those final two chairs and I am a damn good visualizer, it is what I do for a living. I could not do it. The only time I ever could visualize myself in those final two chairs was sitting next to you and Knowing that I wouldn't win, which is, like you know, fun. Would have loved that over fourth, but like not why we come, you know, and play the game you want to win, right, and I think I know I got a lot of crap online when I would like share that with you. That I'm like okay, I'm gonna go to final two with you because really, like that was only what I could visualize. Like I literally couldn't Get myself to visualize or believe.

When I say visualize, I mean believe Anything else. Like sure would it have been smarter for me to somehow finagle something we're Turner and I were final to. That Would probably been my best case scenario given this situation. But that would like that. I could never get myself to believe that that would actually ever happen, and we can only create within the limits of our belief right, and so it's like it's interesting to think about when do we focus? Because I know myself I was so focused on just getting on to big brother that I never really did that same level kind of prep and mindset and belief work that was required to believe that not only will I get on, but I will win this thing. If you, if you could do it again in terms of the belief work that you would do, what? What would you focus on instead? Do you think?

Yeah, I think, and like going into the house, I did kind of have like a little mental checklist and you know milestones that I wanted to reach and I don't know I think I would have just Still done that because I do think that, like you know, if I looked just at the end, when I'm at the beginning, like I'm ignoring what I need to do to get there, but I think I would have kept that in mind better about you know, I need to get to six because at that point my fate is in my hand to get myself to the final two or something like that. I I think, and that's just what it's so hard in a game like big brother is that there's so many variables and so many factors that there's so much that you're thinking of. And I guess that was just like the easiest, like next Milestone that I was so focused on and so concerned about not Reaching because of factors outside my context to why you wanted that you would incorporate that into the Instruction to the brain.

Why are we wanting to get to this place? So that I can just win, win, win my way to the end, you know yeah, I think part of it too is like in my head.

I was so like because if I get to six and I lose, I can, I can live with that. I won't have the what if? What if I had played in this? What if I had done that? You would be like I had a chance and I messed up, and it's like of course I went in with like oh well, if I lose, like I'll be okay, like yeah, it's like no brain.

We want to keep winning. Yeah, yeah, destination manifestation will be right back. So let me ask you this when do you plan on living your dream life Seriously? Because here's the thing the past is done, the future is never promised. So when, honestly, now is the only time you have to live a life of your dreams, because the now is all you are ever guaranteed, it's all you ever really truly have Now.

I'm sure you guys see this all the time, right, these days, we have such amazing people doing such amazing things. We have international superstars like Taylor Swift and Beyonce taking the music world by storm. We have entrepreneurs that are literally funding their way to space. We have Nobel winning scientists developing life saving vaccines and cures to diseases. I mean, it's literally mind blowing.

And hey, don't get me wrong, I love these big, huge life changing manifestations. I see them every day. But just yesterday, I was traveling on home and I was thinking to myself what if you just want to enjoy your life a little bit more fully? A manifest, a life that brings you joy, contentment, maybe a little bit extra fun, freedom, time, or maybe it's manifesting a new job or a move to a new city, or even meeting your soulmate, your dream partner, maybe it's manifesting a business that affords you a life to focus on your passions and what you love most. Hey, I manifested that I understand. Well, it turns out that's exactly what one-on-one hypnotherapy and coaching is designed to help you do For manifesting more abundance, whether that be money, time, freedom, love to creating a life that you're actually excited to live. One-on-one hypnotherapy and coaching can help you create the mindset that will fuel a better, more joyful life for you. And through my one-on-one hypnotherapy and coaching programs, I'll take your hand and I'll guide you through the tools that you need to align your thoughts, your beliefs and your actions to create a life of your wildest dreams.

Trust me, right now the world just feels downright chaotic. There's so many different things that are competing for our attention. You got the news, you got social media, obligations, chores, responsibilities. There's so many demands placed on us that it just feels like there's nothing left for you. But with my programs that use the power of hypnotherapy specifically for manifestation, my one-on-one hypnotherapy and coaching programs are like having that personal trainer, but for your mind, that's kind of what I am, because together we build those mental muscles that are required to believe in your success, to map out a plan and to support you every step of the way, so that you can begin to live life on your own terms. Trust me, now is the time to live your life and start manifesting your success. Today, go to britneyhoopscom to learn more. Well, winning is what you did, though, michael. You won so many freaking competitions. I want to talk about. What is that winning mindset? So, first of all, did you think, going into Big Brother, that you'd win so many competitions, did you? Was that on your radar.

No, short answer. No, I think. I mean, from watching the show I knew what to expect from competitions and in my head I was like I think I can do well at a lot of these competitions and for me especially, I was thinking like the late game ones that I didn't even make it to. When you're recalling days and events, I was like that kind of stuff like just from going through law school and everything and taking the bar and memorizing things, I'm ready for that stuff. And it was just some of these weird competitions that you would never like. How on earth do you prepare for something like this that I just ended up being good at and I don't know. And I think there again it was like kind of doubting myself and I was like, well, you know what they're going to cast, these super athletes and I run, but I don't lift, I don't do a lot of these things.

You won Chacross. I think you could get across that backyard like three steps or a call I don't know.

I surprised myself, but I think whenever I saw a competition, I would always go into my mental mode of like, ok, what do I need to do? Trying to strategize things out even before it started to go in with the plan, because I felt if I had a plan, I'd have some semblance of control. And I don't know, it worked out for the most part, but it was a surprise. It worked out pretty well.

You know what's so funny. I actually did a hypnotherapy session. Of course, I wasn't able to share any reason why I was doing it, but I did a hypnotherapy session with my hypnotherapist for dizzy being spinning, because I knew, oh my gosh, if I got one of those comps I was going to be done for Could you imagine? I know it comes up all the time. I did a session, which it's funny, because as we talked I was like, well, I think I told my hypnotherapist I was going to a family reunion where we were going to play a lot of yard games and I might be spun. I needed some help. He's like man, you really care about a family reunion, don't you? You did this whole session about a family reunion, anyways. But he helped with my confidence and we created something that and I do this for my clients all the time but we created something called an anchor so that I could put my if you're watching the video version, see my, what do you call that? It's a pointer finger and thumb finger. Put them together or it was like two of the fingers or whatever and it would create, it would bring up memories and feelings of focus and courage. I think it was like the lioness. That was the anchor, the feeling of what it means to be a lioness. It really does work. I do this with my clients all the time. You can anchor feelings of peace, you can anchor any sort of resource state that you want instant access to. This is an old NLP technique that you can do that and it fills you kind of immediately with that sensation.

I use that before every single comp. The comp I remember most specifically using it was in the wee hours of the morning with that cuckoo fest comp. After you had left, I was fired up. I knew I was going to be the next one out and I just remember I mean my, my fingers were like turning white. I was holding them so much, just being like I'm doing that, I'm doing this, just getting in this lioness mindset. It was easy then too, because I was just like F, all y'all, I'm blowing this place up, everyone's against me, I'm doing this. It's just funny how, again, what do you kind of feed your mind, what fuels you? Because that infiltrates your action. I feel like the mindset that you had really sort of infiltrated these things. Talk to me, what do you think makes Make brother? Otherwise, what do you think makes a winning mindset? What's the ingredients of that?

I think, ultimately it's being doing as much preparation as you can, while allowing yourself to be kind to yourself if you do make a mistake, and also acknowledging that some things outside of your control might happen. I think for me, again, I very hard on myself, so if something doesn't go exactly as planned, that can really throw me off sometimes. I need to understand I'm human, I make mistakes and you pick up and you keep going. But I don't know, I always expect a lot of myself. When I don't live up to that, sometimes it's hard for me to get my mind back in like, hey, it's okay, it is not the end of the world. But I think, just having that preparation but being kind to yourself and just allowing things to happen and sometimes things happen in ways that we don't expect and the outcomes will be what we're hoping for. But it's a completely different path to get there and that's okay too, so I'm going to just have to go with it.

Yeah. So it's like this preparation, compassion, and like present moment flexibility, present moment openness. It's like kind of all right future BB people. You heard it here first. This is the winning mindset. Okay, Michael, I want to say something, and I mean this the most lovingly way possible, okay. Okay, you are literally one of the most competitive people I've ever met in my entire freaking life.

I believe it. That was one of my adjectives and they're like describe yourself in three words. I think that was the first word that I used was like competitive and you did a very good job, I think, of managing it like in the house.

you know, like you remind me of my husband in that way. Like you you don't gloat when you win, but, man, are you upset if you lose? You know, but you you kept it off kind of very good. You know, in the house it wasn't until you know, of course, we're being friends outside the house and I played settler's a tan for you for the first time that I was like who is this man? And I was like, oh, you just make so much sense now, the first time we hung out together. Why I'm mentioning this, michael, is do you think being competitive, like the quality of being competitive, helps or hinders one's ability to win?

I I'm going to give you the lawyer answer it depends.

I think it, and it depends like how far you fall on that and how you can keep it in check, like, if you are like winning as all that matters, it's probably not going to go well for you. But if you're like I really like to win and I want to win, but I'm also going to enjoy it while I'm in it, I think that makes it a lot easier because it takes some of that pressure off of you where, if you're like I have to be perfect and do this, this and this, or I'm not going to win, it's a lot of pressure. So I think that you know, and I don't know, it really depends. But I that's what I notice like sometimes when I'm too aggressive or whatever, and then I look back like oh, like you probably should have dialed it down a little bit, like I'm like it wasn't even smart, it wasn't even helping me at that point. At some point. I think it just kind of like limits what you're seeing, because all you're focusing on is just winning, and you know it's more than just that.

So it sounds like at some point being competitive if you don't keep it in check and cross this line where it's like it's like not allowing it to be fun or the the losses to. I could understand that. I almost feel like I. I may have crossed that line a little bit during Big Brother. I know we've talked about this before, but I was always kind of envious of somebody like Monty, who didn't know the show really beforehand and was just like there having a good time. I just see him sitting in his spot on the kitchen table just eating his healthy breakfast or whatever it was, and I'm just like you're just enjoying yourself, like don't you know, this is the biggest deal in the entire world, you know.

And I feel like I like I made it be life or death for me because it was like well, multiple things. It was a lifelong dream that I didn't want to have in too soon and also I had falsely, I will admit had equated me winning or not winning equals being able to start my family, because that was how I was going to use the money and, granted, it would have very much helped that. But is it? Am I going to be childless now for the rest of my life because I didn't win Big Brother.

No, I'm figuring out a different way, right, but in the house, like it was, like my way to like make you know, to help my family and my husband was going to be so proud, and like I just assigned these like bigger than life reasons and so it literally became like life or death for me. And then that I mean it was, it was fun, don't get me wrong. Big Brother was a ton of fun, but like that mentality does not add to the fun. You know that mentality detracts from the fun and when you're not having fun with any game, you're probably you're putting too much pressure on it. You're not going to perform as well as you could, I would imagine you know, at least that wasn't for my case.

Yeah, yeah. And I think I felt very similarly where it was like this is my dream. And even going in, I was like if I don't win, I'm going to be devastated and I won't be happy with anything. And I, you know, I've made it far and I got to do a lot of things that I really wanted to do and I left and I, of course, I was sad. I really wanted to, you know, make it all the way, to experience all that I had to offer. But I was like I'm actually okay.

Like one of the first conversations that I had when I got back home, I was talking to my sister and she was like, well, don't you just hate Taylor because she won and you didn't.

And I was like, no, I love Taylor, but I was actually like very excited to cast my vote for her, you know, in the end and it was just like oh, like maybe I'm not quite as competitive as I thought I was, or like I still am, but like my mindset when it comes to losing, maybe I've gotten better at it and I can, because I always said, like the people who come off of losing a reality show and they're like what I learned about myself was worth more than you know, the $750,000. I'm like, oh, that's what losers say. And I'm like, okay, I'm like, yes, I was a loser because I didn't win. But I can recognize that there are things that I take away from the experience, that I'm like I'm still leaving this, even though I didn't win, that I'm so happy and like I can sleep at night not worrying about like, oh my gosh, I, you know, messed up my lifelong dream.

No, I am so the same way too. I mean, of course I wanted to win, but like it was up there with this, you know, making lasting friendships, getting to like, just feel like I was at the Super Bowl, which is my Super Bowl, sitting in front row and watching comps live, getting to play comps, getting to win comps I mean, gosh, like I definitely I don't know if I had expectations from what would happen. I definitely didn't expect to win. I just I just wanted to like I don't know, I don't. I honestly don't think I had expectations. I think I probably expected that I would be like, middle of the game, I didn't. I made it further than I expected to go. Then again, I just didn't again.

Another thing I would change is like I would allow myself to give the instructions to beyond, just get in the house. You know I would have tried to prepare and I think if you were to, you know not to say, either of us would ever play again it or have the opportunity to. But if you were given that chance to do that, it's not taking away that initial like no one can take away BB 24 from us. So it would be so much easier to allow your mindset to go. Of course, then you'd be playing against all these other people, would play it against two, and that's a whole other, you know, set of challenges, but no one could take away the initial experience, which was mostly the thing that I was most worried of losing. You know, you know that sort of thing. So let me ask you this which was harder mentally Big brother or law school?

I probably I would have to say big brother, like obviously law school was very stressful but there were like I had outlets, you know, I could unplug, I could watch TV, and law school too is like I thought like I'm the biggest nerd that I know, like I loved school, so I had I enjoyed going to class and learning things and big brother, and obviously I had fun and I loved doing it. But it was just I think I put more pressure on myself in that situation because I was like I know I'm gonna make it through school, like I've always been good at school, like so I think that played into it as well.

But yeah, and the lack of outlets. I mean, that's what's big brother, the social experiment is designed is let's literally take away any sort of stress outlet you might have, other than maybe like an exercise bike or something which was not my stress outlet, but, like you know, it makes it Considerably harder, that's for sure. So anyone in this life who Plays a game plays to win also has losses, right, we all. That's all part of being in the arena and playing. So tell me about a time when you had, to like, choose to be resilient. You know, when you were thinking like, oh my gosh, do I give up? Do I try again? Like, has that ever come up for you?

Yeah, I definitely think about when I was applying to law school. So when you apply for law school and it might be changing now, there's always talks about it but you have to take what's called the, the LSAT. It's like the law school admissions test, which is kind of like, you know, the ACT or SAT in a way, but it just tests like you're, you know, you're reasoning, your Analytical skills, you're writing things like that to see if you, you know, they think you're prepared to go to law school. And I've always, you know again, biggest nerd that I know I I Kind of like taking standardized tests, like there's something satisfying to me about, you know, filling in the bubbles and doing all this, like, yeah. So like I was like, oh, like I'm not too worried about this. But I was like, you know, I'm gonna do my homework. So like I got all this prep material, these books, practice tests, and Before I started my studying because I was working at the time, and so I, you know, came home from work, I was like I'm just gonna take a practice LSAT just to get a baseline, see where I need to work and what I need to focus on.

And so I, you know, took the test, got my score, started studying, working on things and then like All within like a very short Period of time, like ever, it was like my Murphy's law month, like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Like we got like bad news at work that if this certain project didn't go through, like probably within the next year, everyone was gonna be let go, because it was like make or break it for this company. I had some family drama that went really horribly. I got broken up with and it was like everything that could go wrong like went wrong. I just that just totally threw me off and I was like, you know, I tried to keep studying but like it was not quality and I was just kind of like going through the motion.

So, come test day, I, you know, take the LSAT and I, like you know, don't feel super confident and I get my score and it was like Almost the exact same score as my like baseline, before I did any studying it. I was just devastated because, like I studied for months for this and I felt like I got in my own head and got in my own way and I was like so then, of course, you know, I'm spiraling because, like everything else went wrong. And now here goes law school too. And so, like I just had a moment where I was like, do I just quit now, because I, you know, in my eyes I failed. Like you know, maybe I could have gotten in if I had applied with that score, but in my mind it was not my goal score at all. Um, and I was just like no, like I know that I can do better than this, and I don't know if this was like the Healthiest thing to do.

But I also thought, like you know, all this stuff that went wrong, like I'm letting these people win, I'm letting you know my family saying this stuff, you know, destroy my dreams. I'm letting getting you know my ex who dumped me, he's winning. If, like this disrupted my life plans, I was like, no, like, and so Then, and kind of ties back into you know, I put that on my dream board. I put a picture of the school that I wanted to go to with, you know, the score that I was shooting for, and I tacked that up. And then I got back to studying and Went much better the second time around and I was like, okay, it worked. I reframed my mind and I I made it happen. So I was very glad that I didn't quit and give up, because you know, who knows where I would be if I would have just been like oh, that's it.

Right and think about what it would have done to your like self-concept too, if you let all those things win. Then you don't ever know you're the kind of person who could do exactly what you did. You know, it's like I mean that I literally I think I talked about this in in a previous episode it's like don't you be the one to give up on you? Because then then you take that in as evidence for thinking that, like, think about who Michael would be if that Michael would have just been like this is who I am, and then just let that and went on that trajectory, you know, as opposed to. Okay, that was devastating, but I pick myself up, I go back, I try it again, I do. Great, you know, you're that kind of person now, like, and then that begins to just sort of have a butterfly effect so beautifully in your life. Otherwise and I'm the same exact way I've been doing this here recently and and thinking about it like, um, not so much anymore. But you know, when we first get out of big brother, right, anybody in big brother is soon going to realize that there are, like not always the nicest people online. Okay, there are a million nice people, but for every million nice people, there is a not so great. There's an internet troll, right.

And I had this thought that I was like oh my gosh, like my focus. From a manifestational point of view, your focus is the most important thing you could ever have. Where you place your attention, you create more of where you place your attention right. And so it's almost like your focus is like a magic wand and it's just like the most powerful thing ever. Whatever you boop, you know you get more of. I was basically handing that to some toxic person bb, twitter person Like I mean, literally, I was like here's my magic wand, like, and I was giving that all my focus. Like no, I do not want to do that. Like that, I would never. I would never give. Like you never give that x, you'd never give all these people right, you're the power of your focus. You wouldn't let them win, you know, um, and it's really just like learning to Live for yourself and what you said was going to happen and I love how you said that like that was on your vision board.

You tacked up that school, you want to go to the score you wanted, and so what's so beautiful about that is like sometimes we think we know the how, we think we know the route. You best believe, the time I got to semi-finals for big brother and didn't get it, I was so devastated because I thought that was my how on the big brother and I was like, oh my gosh, so now I'm not going to be a big brother. That wasn't the truth. I'm gonna be on big brother, it just wasn't the season. We don't get to determine the how, you know we just we keep in mind the thing that you want Universe, energy, divine timing, whatever you want to call it gets to determine the how. Same with you and the LSAT. Like, okay, the first test was not your how, second test was you know. So what do you do when the thing that you're believing in doesn't happen and I'll say doesn't happen the way you envisioned right, doesn't happen in the how that you thought? What's kind of your frame of mind when those sort of things happen?

Yeah, I think for me it's. I can be very goal oriented, but I think it's also about the journey along the way where it's like, okay, I did all of this stuff to make this happen and it didn't work out, but you know, I actually gained all of these other skills and different things and how you know, now do I take that and apply and try to make that specific goal happen again, or can I transfer it somewhere else and make something else happen out of it? Um, because I think a lot of times, if we work for something that we're like bettering ourselves, for I've never been.

Oh gosh, like I wish I went to bettered myself if I knew I wasn't gonna get like no, like I still did, like all this stuff, you know, like, even going back to sports, like if I didn't hit, you know If I didn't get a, you know, a new pr, a new personal record in a race, I'm not like gosh, I wish I wouldn't have worked out at all. Like, no, like I'm still getting in better shape. And like, just because on this one day it didn't work out, like I still. I now have the building blocks to either Apply it here and do better in the same exact thing, or I can take it somewhere else. And now I've, you know, at the very least, maybe I've worked on, you know, discipline or focus, even if the exact things I'm not going to take with me.

But I've learned, and that's kind of a hard lesson I think to, to learn because I think I don't know we I, we're very hard on ourselves. I feel like a lot of times and you know it's very easy to be like I failed and it's like, and it's sometimes, you know, cliche to, you know say like it's not necessarily a failure, it's like a learning opportunity. But I think that is very important to take and I look at a lot of things where, in the moment, it felt like this is the end of the world, that this happened. And now I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, like no, it wasn't. Like I'm glad that didn't happen, because then this other thing Happened and if I had gone this route this would have never happened. And so I think, just look at the overall picture and being okay and just kind of trusting that you know, something More will come and maybe this just wasn't meant to be.

And that's so the hardest part, because that perspective usually comes with time, like the lessons. It's very hard to like, oh, this is the lesson out of this, like two seconds after you finish it, or when you're in the midst of the fail, quote, unquote, failure. You know, you're just so focused on like I didn't get that thing that I wanted, and it's so hard to remember. Like, okay, x amount of time from now I'm gonna be able to kind of like Peer back on the situation and realize, oh, that's what lined up this and this and this and this. You know, I mean, I even think so of like both of us getting on this season of big brother.

You know, I remember that was one of the things that you told me. You're like, I think they cast us as friends and I was like, oh, my god, I think you're right. You were like a carbon copy of the kind of person that I would hang out with in the real world, like, and it's just so funny. It's like, oh well, of course we didn't get cast on other seasons, like they didn't cast our friends in those seasons.

They cast our friends here, you know, and it's just, I don't know. I just kind of think that's beautiful. Did we know that at the time? Did we know that that would be the thing? No, you don't know. You don't know until afterwards. Um, here's another question, and we kind of touched upon this, but I'm curious somebody else had asked this. So how did you stay focused um, during through law school? So you took that all set, you got in, you go. Now you're in law school. How, how did you stay focused? Any tips there?

Um, I think with law school, it I don't know, it's this weird environment where it is. It is a competitive environment because, um, all of your grades are At least the school that I went to is like based on a curve, so you're competing against each other, basically. But, uh, but like my, the school that I went to like it was very Minnesota and where everyone was still very nice. We all like we would, you know, help each other, we would share notes, and it's just like it was a friendly, competitive environment, which was Just nice.

And then I think just having that goal of you know like law school is only step one, because after you go to law school, if you want to practice law, you have to pass the bar exam.

So it's like all of this is just preparing me to take the bar. So I need to Soak in as much as I can now because when it comes time, you know the three months between graduation and the bar, like I don't want to be starting from zero at that point, like I want to have a good base and then kind of, you know, focus on those test taking tips and everything. So that was, uh, definitely a focus. And for me, to um it law school was More than just like, oh, I'm doing this to get a job for me because, um, originally, like when I was in high school, like I wanted to go to law school, and um, when I got out of high school, uh, or kind of towards the end, the legal job market wasn't, you know, super promising at the time and my parents were very much like Don't do that, like do something more practical with everyone's. Like your parents were like don't be a lawyer, we're practical to be a lawyer what?

Yeah, um, so they were like very much pushing me because I Did well in math and science or, like you know, those kind of jobs are like always gonna be steady and growing fields, so they really pushed me into that and I, you know, I don't know, I was 18, I didn't know what I was doing, so I listened and so for me, you know, I went through College and started working in a career that I wasn't passionate about, and so Going back to school was kind of like my you know, first big rebellious thing that I did. Like I know my parents aren't happy about this decision, but this is something I'm doing for me and this is a goal that I want to do for myself, and I think that perspective like I wasn't doing it for anybody but for me and that also really helped keep me focused because it was something that I was passionate about and I cared about.

Oh, I love that. I mean, that is so. That's why I work with my clients all the time. Like let's define your why. Like you got to have the strongest why ever. And you might even I literally will ask that that why, questions old life Coach hack ask it like six times in a row so why do you want to go to law school? Because blah, blah, blah. Well, why do you want that? Because blah, blah, blah. Why do you want that?

Like, let's get down to the base level of why this matters so much to you. Because that's going to motivate those long study sessions, that's going to motivate all these. You know, I don't want to say hardships, but like not easy task, probably not tasks that, like you always are in the mood for, but you know they're going to support that. Like why and it sounds like you had a really strong why to like I'm doing this for me, I'm fulfilling a dream, you know, for me that can just kind of keep you focused and keep you going. I love that. So, speaking of dreams, this is my final question Michael, dream with me. What is what does future Michael look like? I'm not. I'm actually not calling it future Michael, I'm calling it manifested me like the version of you who has what you want to have, is who you want to be like. What are? What are you dreaming up for the future?

Um, I don't know. I I hope I have time. I have a quick story that I want to say about this question, because I, um, when I went to college, um, we had to take this like freshman class and there was a ta who had talked to us and stuff, and she gave us like this sheet and it was you know, fill out, you know your plans and what you want to be. And I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with my life at that point and I just wrote, like my goal is to be happy and and she, we know we talked about she's like you know, you're the only person who wrote that everyone else said I want to do this or do that or do this. And it was like To me, like when I look look at what I want my life to look like in the future, maybe I don't know exactly what job that's going to be or what this or that, but it's like I want to be happy because I think I spent so much of my life trying to make, you know, my parents happy or doing what I thought I should do and not didn't follow what I wanted for me to be happy.

So when I always think about my future. That's always like, the first thing that I think of is like, whatever I'm doing, I want to be happy. I want it to be, you know, something that brings me joy and that I have passion for. And you know, I want you know for my life, with me and Hayden, post marriage, to be good with our cats, and as long as I'm happy, that is, you know, the dream, that's the. That's a win for me. Um, it's not necessarily about this. I need to be in this job position, doing this thing, but I want to be happy.

Oh, I love that so much and isn't that just so crazy how that's so easy to lose sight of. You know, especially, let's just say, the audience. I'm attracting this podcast very goal-driven, dream-driven people. We have to remember, like, okay, what are we really aiming for here? And, like you know, I always think of emotions as like flavors, like what flavor do we want to bring to life? You know we want, like, what does happiness look like? What does joy look like? Um, how do you know it when you're experiencing it? H-happiness, like, how do you define that? Because I think a lot of people get tripped up with that. They're like I want to be happy and then they're like looking for happiness everywhere and they wouldn't know it if it hit them, you know, over the head, over the top of the head. So, like, what is that? I'm just curious, what does that look like for you?

Yeah, for me, you know, in different areas of my life it looks like different things, but like I sometimes just like have this, like like sometimes it's just like an inner piece where I'll be, like you know, like if I'm surrounded, like doing something that I love to do with like my closest friends, I'm like I just have like a little moment where I look around and like this is so nice and I think back to, like you know, young Michael, like if he could see what I was doing right now, like he like wouldn't believe that was possible because of everything that was going on when I was growing up and like to be where I'm at and be like I never thought that this was possible.

Or you know like little things where I just like you know, I see my cat sleeping in a cute position and I just feel like this little like warm, fuzzy feelings inside. Or like when I, you know, just doing something, even just like every day, like just like driving in the car with Hayden and we're having, like you know, a fun conversation, I just look over and like I just like it makes me smile because it was like I never thought that this was possible. And you know, just like. There's little moments where it's just like this piece and warm feeling inside and I don't know Probably is different for everyone, but for me that's when I just have those moments where I'm just like, oh, like I'm just happy right now it feels, just feels good, and nothing else matters at this moment.

Oh my gosh, you're going to make me cry.

That's so sweet.

Yeah, because it's like, what do you call them?

You know, we always talk or hear about like triggers, right, like oh, this thing, was triggering to me or this, like those are what they call, those are glimmers, like those little moments. It's like almost the opposite of a trigger. It's like those little moments where it's like you realize it, it triggers something, but it triggers happiness, it triggers inner peace, contentment, you know, just realizing, and I love how you're like. You're like, oh, little Michael, like little me would not, would not believe this, and like how amazing is that? And I think we don't give ourselves enough credit. I think you're talking about like how it's so easy to kind of beat yourself up about things and stuff and it's like, oh my god, if, like little Michael or little Brittany like could see what we did now, how proud they would be.

You know, I always love to think about that. So thank you for, thank you for everything, thank you for sharing that, thank you for letting us into your, your mind for a little bit. It was so much fun and I think there's a lot to a lot to kind of learn for somebody who's just looking to, to want to up their game and just, I don't know, live a happier life, live a happier life and maybe win some things along the way.

That's what I hope, so thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for having me. This has been a blast.

Yeah, thanks a lot. It was so much fun. Oh, michael, my bestie, bestie. So I want to catch you guys up. There's actually some really fun things that happened after this episode too. That, I think, will kind of give you some good background.

So you know how we talked, michael and I talked about this episode about mental blindness, right, or the lack of being able to visualize, which is a condition called aphantasia. So, although this concept dates back, I think, to Aristotle, the term aphantasia was only coined by psychologists back in 2015. So it's a relatively new area where we actually have neuroscientific understanding. And you know, it's funny because I have some clients who fall and that two to 5% of the population who can't visually see images in their heads. Like, if I tell you to think of an apple, can you see that apple in your head? Like I can see it. Like, if you watch the video, you see that I'm closing my eyes and trying to do this. If I think of an apple, I can. Yeah, I can see it. Like, I can see it. Does it look like crisp, clear, like I'm looking at a picture? No, it's like very faded and it kind of comes in or out, but I can see it and I can turn it around and I can pick it up and I can put it on the moon. I mean, I can make it do whatever it needs to right Like in my mind, and people who have Aventasia cannot do that, and that's Michael, falls into that group.

And so I was looking into this more to help him, to help my clients, and I found this great article that Time Magazine did about this and I'll link to it in the show notes, and it describes some of the qualities of people that people who have Aventasia tend to have. They tend to be highly analytical people, they tend to have an eye higher IQ than average and this is the kicker, it was so funny to me they tend not to be as scared by scary stories since they can't visualize them and almost put themselves into that context in their mind. And so when I read that, I was like I checked Michael. I was like Michael, this is you, look, this is you. And we were having a big laugh about it, because you know he loves scary movies and horror movies and you know he can tolerate them much, much better than most folks, right, and he's also a certified genius. I can't remember what he did. I remember he told that story. He Mensa or something, is that it? I don't know, michael, I should know more about your life. Sorry, but I mean like, really like, how funny is that?

I also thought there was a really interesting thing that Michael brought up here about how losing big brother wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought it would be right here was like a worst case scenario right Of getting to be on Big Brother and not winning, and he shared in this episode about how it wasn't actually that bad. And so I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day, which is the Happiness Lab by Dr Laurie Santos. She's a professor of psychology at Yale, and in this podcast I'll link to it in the show notes as well it described this really beautiful phenomenon that basically Michael was describing himself. It's that we as humans tend to overestimate how good something will feel and how long those good feelings will last, like winning Big Brother or getting on to Big Brother or any sort of goal you might accomplish and we also overestimate how bad a worst case scenario would be. So, like Michael, we tend to, in our minds before something happens, just think we would be devastated if we didn't win, but it ends up not being as bad as we had thought in your mind. So, in actuality, the good isn't so good and the bad isn't so bad. It's just a good reminder for all of us goal setting folks. You know like it's gonna be okay Whether something good happens, whether something bad happens, it's gonna be okay, we're going to be okay. The wins they're amazing, the manifestations are phenomenal, but those good feelings don't last forever, like and I know that sounds like kind of like a downer, but it's the truth and I think we should set ourselves up for that, so that we don't make our manifestations like the end all be all of life, because they're not going to inherently make you happy If you aren't enjoying yourself on the journey towards destination manifestation. The journey is what's the happy part? It is not the destination. The destination is not as good as we estimate it will feel. So thank you so much for listening today's episode.

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